The Wedding Budget ~ It’s not about the money money money, or is it?…

This week already, I've featured two weddings that have highlighted the issue of wedding budget for me.

The first wedding was all about working on a tight budget and within the couple's means to pull off a day that was both personal to them but full of love and joy.  The second wedding was less about working to a strict budget, but the budget savvy bride still managed to find her dress on eBay for just £80.

I was mulling all this over last night an thinking about my own take on wedding budget and how it has changed since I have become a wedding blogger, as opposed to a bride planning her wedding. The total bill for our wedding was around £17k, which even then, fell short of what is apparently the national average wedding budget. Both our sets of parents helped us out too.

I found myself asking, was it worth it?.  Would I spend the same, less or more if I were to have the chance again?  Is budget irrelevant in the great scheme of what you're really celebrating on your wedding day?

Image Credit: Pinterest

If I am really honest with you ladies and gents, I spent a lot we spent rather a lot on our wedding.  As in, a lot that went outside the scope of 'living within our means'.  We couldn't really afford all the expenditure.  But we paid it anyway.  Well, you know, kind of.  Credit stylee.

My financial situation is different now, but back then, I really didn't have enough money to pay for the beautiful £2,500 Jenny Packham dress of my dreams, or the gorgeous £400 Emmy Shoes {still my pride and joy!} but I purchased them anyway, because, well, it was my wedding wasn't it – I was gliding along on that diamond studded conveyor belt that is the wedding industry and finding myself bedazzled and utterly lured in by all I saw to tempt me as I made my journey to the finished product box marked 'happily married wife'. I felt helpless but I succumbed to it all.  And I loved it.

What other excuse did I need?  It was my chance to forget the financial restraints and alarm bells at the four digit price tag that would have usually had me guffawing at the mere notion of it all.

There wasn't much that passed by the 'it's just not worth it' litmus test, except, if I am really, really honest, the chair covers {sorry!}.  But I only went and diverted chair cover funds elsewhere. Crazy masks for everyone to dress up in during the evening, I think.

I must stress, none of this flippant spend of pounds and pence distilled by any fraction the real reason we were getting married, or the immense sense of love and joy that was present on our wedding day.  But having spent the past two and half years writing and blogging and researching weddings, I find myself considering the financial aspect of it all very differently now, and I was keen to explore my feelings more and learn what I'd do now.

For a start, there's a whole new online industry geared towards my needs now, as a relatively creative bride to be who also loves bridal fashion. Etsy wasn't really much back then – now, it is a crafty brides dream, an online market-place full of every home made kind of wedding day pretty you could imagine.  Infact Etsy just launched their very own wedding gift list registry and Love My Dress got the scoop on Sunday being the first wedding blog to report about it.  Etsy makes it easy for me and all brides alike to save a few £££ {rarely any seller overheads – as most suppliers are producing from home so they cut out the middle man} and support small businesses at the same time.  Result.

Then there is the dress.  Honestly and truuuuly, I adored my wedding dress.  I used the past tense there because, well, sadly, I had to sell my wedding dress shortly after our nuptials due to financial circumstances. I was and still am gutted about this. As Mother of two young girls, I'd have loved for it to become an heirloom item and handed on through generations, becoming a vintage and antique wedding dress in it's own right one day. But that wasn't to be and after a hefty £250 clearning fee plus EBay advertising fees, I probably made the measily sum of around £400 on my beautiful dress.  It was hardly worth the sale.  I purchased the £2,500 dress {add another £100 for alternations} knowing I'd always sell it on, but I have to be honest, if I'd have know *at the time* how little I'd have made on it, I'd have probably not purchased it at all.

As I say, things are different now, I could afford the price tag if I wanted to {I'd probably selfishly go for two dresses – a designer one and a vintage one!} but I'd do this with a more savvy sense of budget in mind. And if I was going to have to sell my dress on afterwards, I'd use a specialist dress selling service such as Still White.

Generally, I'd have a much clearer idea of how to prioritise my budget.

Which brings me nicely on to the matter of wedding photography.  I budgeted quite low for this. Quite, quite low.  It makes me cringe saying this, but we actually spent less than £500 on our photographs.  Our photographer {who I adore – our photographs too!} was then a newcomer and as good as I could see she was, she was just starting out professionally so couldn't really charge fees higher than that**.   I wouldn't dream of spending that little on my wedding photography now, I'd be looking more at the £2.5 – £3.5k mark.  Infact, personally, photography would be top of my budgeting list as number one priority.  This is an area I think budget allocation is really important

But as for everything else, was it worth it? Was our wedding worth the £17 odd thousand we spent on it?  Yes of course it damn well was, we had the time of our lives and the memories of that day will stay with me forever as some of the fondest memories of our life.  The wedding we couldn't really afford produced one of the most wonderful days of our lives and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Would/could the wedding day have been enhanced by further spend? Possibly yes, and if we could have afforded it, I would have liked some decent entertainment, or a second dress for the evening, or a planner to help me style some of the reception area.

Would it have been as 'good' had we spent less? Well I'd have never known the difference would I, and ultimately, we'd have had a day surrounded by love, family, friends, good food, good wine, so yes. I think absolutely definitely yes.

Would I spend the same, less or more if I were to have the chance again?  It's a difficult one.  I guess, ultimately, I'd not spend any more. And I would encourage couples to spend within their means though. It *is* one day, a supremely special one, but don't land yourself in financial difficulties for years, and years afterwards over it.

Don't be put off by terms such as 'budget wedding' or 'shoe string budget' or 'big budget'. Who defines these terms anyway? What constitutes a shoe string budget?  Who cares what someone else is spending. This is your day.  Spend what you can afford to spend and address precisely what you can afford to spend EARLY on in the planning. Don't get caught up in the 'keeping up with the Jones' and must impress our guests' parade. It's not about that.

I'd also strongly advise couples to prioritise their wedding budget spend.  What is most important to you? Attire? Photography? Stationery? Venue?

If it's all getting too much – could you afford the services of a planner/stylist even if only for a one-off consultation, or advice in the run up to to your wedding, or on the day styling only? And listen to your gut.  Cut back where your gut instinct tells you to and spend a bit more on the areas that are special to you

So, I'm keen to generate some feedback and discussion on the issue of wedding budget and would like to put these questions to you all:-

Are you splashing out beyond your means to pay for your wedding, and if so, how are you doing this? Are the bank of Mum and Dad coming to the rescue, or are you selling stuff/relying on credit?

If you can't afford the wedding you want right now, are you prepared to wait, or compromise somehow?

What are your thoughts on the general cost of anything wedding-related and how an item with a 'wedding' tag on it can send the fee soaring.

Is budget irrelevant in the great scheme of what you're really celebrating on your wedding day?

Would you like to recommend any good budget planning tools?

Care to share your actual wedding budget with us?

Have wedding blogs like this one inspired you to reassess how you are spending your money at all?

I'd really love to get some discussion around the issue of money and the wedding budget going, so let's be having your comments, questions and queries ladies and gents!

I look forward to hearing from you.

Much love,

Annabel

♥

 

**Since our March 2009 wedding, our wedding photographer has gone on to develop a successful career in wedding photography, which I'm thrilled about. And yes, she definitely charges more than £500 now – and deservedly so.