Don’t Call Me ‘Bridezilla’ ~ A Discussion Post on Customer Service, by Anna of ‘Far From The Wedding Crowd’…

Bridez***a – the worst word in weddings.

I hate the B. word with a passion. Without wanting to sound like everything is a feminist issue. This is a feminist issue. I appreciate that sometimes we forget we aren’t the only bride or groom for which our venue or vendor is working.* However I do not think I was a demanding bride. Generally I do not think I am a demanding woman. Yet this words pervades our daily vernacular and it is assumed women turn
into monsters when planning their wedding day. Is it not safer to assume that while they might be slightly preoccupied with certain things they can still function as human beings? I realise there are exceptions to the rule and the closer you get to your wedding day the tension can rise but people can be stressed for a whole number of reasons. If a man is short with a supplier would they be so quick to
call him a 'groomzilla'. Of course not.

Believe it not I was a relatively calm bride. I was calm (albeit a little sad) when our original  photographers could no longer shoot our wedding (but I certainly did not shout at them), I was empathetic but slightly astounded when half of our venue burned down and then (amongst other things) our venue in the Northlands had no plan of action for this amount of snow (see below!) I relented and was just rather exasperated. Exasperated that despite promises I was let down.  It’s part of the reason I am yet to talk about my wedding because of ongoing disputes and I have no desire to send my venue any publicity. Their customer service, in my and my family’s view were shocking…

Anna on her wedding day.  Photography Copyright (c) 2010, Emma Case

Anna marries 'Bean' - Photography by the ever wonderful Emma Case...

No, I am and always have been polite. Above all, treat others as you wish to be treated and what not. However I am not a pushover. I do want good service and I do deserve it. I certainly didn’t expect
people to reply to my emails over weekends, although some did {another post for another time – just because we are paying someone, does not mean they are at our beck and call 24/7}, and I wasn’t expecting miracles. Some of my suppliers were amazing. They really went beyond the call of duty. However, my venue did not. I
recall being fobbed off with unhelpful emails and phone calls when things did feel they had turned into a French farce. In fact I will only be referring to my venue now. My ire has built up over the past
year and I guess I need to write about it.

I don’t even think it is just the fact I am a woman. The very fact I am organising a wedding apparently bestows some hideous (diamante laden) crown upon my fragile head that signals I am crazy and thus
should not be dealt with directly. Certainly I cannot cope with the intricate process of planning a wedding. I’m not saying it’s an easy process. From guest list issues to food allergies to transport
nightmares. The list is endless. And yes we do not all have the right temperament or skill set to be professional wedding planners but for the most part I think we can be civil to other human beings even when under stress. Or am I completely wrong here? Am I just a pushover who is unable to stand up for herself and have you been at the end of a bride’s tirade?

She aint no walkover.  Check out her wedding day shoes

Anna marries 'Bean' - Photography by the ever wonderful Emma Case...

Obviously I can huff and puff  like anyone else but it was palpably obvious when Bean took charge of a phone call this happened. When I tried to complain there wasn’t enough coal or perhaps when they
conveniently forgot to tell us about a reconfiguration of rooms meant there were no beds for children all I received were false promises.  Yes I was getting married the next day but I hadn’t lost my mind. I’m
not incredibly stupid and there is absolutely no reason that you should be talked to in such a condescending fashion.

Of course it’s not just the wedding world. Everyday I feel like a second class citizen. Man or woman, I’ve been treated with disrespect. What irks me more is that people are far more likely to talk to Bean
than me? Our old landlady would hardly acknowledge my emails but would act straight away if Bean emailed her. Remember these are people who know nothing about me nor Bean. They base their entire perceptions of you basically on your gender. Man is good, women is weak. (Please know, I am not saying that man is bad, we are the same)…

This bride expects ACE customer service. Be warned.

Anna marries 'Bean' - Photography by the ever wonderful Emma Case...

So can we rise up?  Or do we just risk self-perpetuating the myth that women are just a blubbering minefield of emotions and lack the capacity to act sensibly in the real world?

What obstacles have you faced when planning your wedding?  Have you experienced bad customer service and how did you deal with it?

Anna

Heart

 

Anna is the blogger behind  Far From The Wedding Crowd. You can also find her on Twitter and Facebook. We'd love for you to join in the discussion below. You might also want to check out other discussion posts on Love My Dress, including this post about bad wedding suppliers and what you can do to try to avoid them.

Annabel

Annabel View all Annabel's articles

Founder of Love My Dress. Passionate Podcaster and Editor. Annabel lives in rural North Yorkshire with her husband and business partner Philip, their two daughters and menagerie of furry hounds. She loves photography, meditation, walking, being outdoors and star gazing. She is fierce when it comes to championing talent within the wedding industry and when she's not working on Love My Dress, she supports her husband Philip in the running of the family's sustainable flower farm and floral design business, Moonwind Flowers. In 2013, she became a published author.

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