Romancing The Ceremony ~ what special words and gestures would you put at the heart of your wedding day?

I recently featured this extremely beautiful and intimate Irish beach wedding ceremony.  It was quite a special feature for my blog – knowing that Love My Dress had played a role in the wedding itself.  The ceremony was non-religious celebration that was conducted by Life-Cycle Celebrant, Shevaun Rafferty.

I got chatting with Shevaun recently about how she works with couples to personalise their wedding ceremonies – so that the very truest essence of their love for one another can be expressed through words and gestures on their wedding day…

 
         

What is the most romantic way you can think of to say to your love that they are the only one for you, and that you will never leave them?

You may think of some special engagement stories you have heard or how your love may have proposed to you in a very romantic setting and way. But now that you are planning your wedding, how will you make that moment of marriage – of making that life-long commitment – memorable and unique?

I know you have been busy for months or years planning the venue, the reception, the dresses, and the music. These are all very important details, but what about the moment you give your word to each other? Unfortunately in the UK (not so in Australia and the USA) we seem to approach the vows and the marriage ceremony as if it is something that someone else does to us. The vicar, priest, rabbi or registrar comes along with their set of words and rituals, we choose a reading or a song and then we just say “I do”. However, there are more ceremony choices for wedding couples in the UK than you might think. There are Celebrants.

I myself am a Life-Cycle Celebrant, so let me try to answer that initial question; What is the most romantic thing you can imagine to say or do to tell your love that you give them your life? There is no one right answer. The most romantic thing is something that has meaning to you and your love and is a part of what you see as ‘your love story’. What might that be for you?

As a Celebrant I see it as my role to help my clients in love to find the right gestures and words to say what is in their hearts. Here are some examples from the romantic couples I have worked with…

  One couple chose a nautical themed ceremony because, although the sea had separated them, it had also brought them back to each other. This couple included a ‘Tying the Knot’ ritual in boat rope to hold them fast to one another for the future.

A couple who met while studying to be aeronautical engineers made a special promise ‘to always be there to hold your hand’ and to be the hands that ‘when joined with yours, will be the wings on which both will fly’. They also embodied their words in a Handfasting ritual.

Another couple, who had a young son, blended coloured sands that represented the ‘fire’ of one personality and the ‘earth’ of the other, and mixed them along with the ‘air’ of their child, in a beautiful clear glass (as symbol of water and the clarity of true love) that is now displayed at the heart of their home for all time.

In my most recent ceremony the couple chose to write their love for each other in a secret letter and seal it in a Memory Chest (with a bottle of their favourite wine to share) until their fifth anniversary. With this they will relive the memories of their very special day and renew their love. They will also refill the Memory Chest and repeat this every five years creating an ongoing renewal of their love throughout their life together…

'Will you treasure the love you have for her now, hold it, protect it, live it, and no matter what may prevail against it, never let it go?'

The words above were spoken at the marriage of Stefanie and Jan {see images below}. You can view their full real wedding feature by clicking here.

Love My Dress Wedding Blog – Photography Copyright (c) 2012, 'This Modern Love'

Creating your own unique ceremony is a fantastic experience. It takes you out of the stress of wedding planning and allows you to get back to the love and romance that brought you here in the first place. It is a journey towards discovering what matters most to you two, and away from all the expectations of the world.

As a Life-Cycle Celebrant, I always begin my writing with the love story of my couple, in their own words, as they have shared it with me. I place it at the heart of the ceremony. From this all the rest of the ceremony grows like a single flower: personal rituals, your own vows, readings and blessings all in one integral work of art. But for you, the couple, the most important thing is that it is uniquely yours, personally moving and the true completion of your love.

This is the particular method in which Life-Cycle Celebrants are trained by The Celebrant Institute in America, and we are affiliated to a code of professional practice that respects all traditions, all faiths and no faiths, and upholds the equal rights of all.

When you research UK celebrants you will find a variety of options and approaches. They may offer you more choice than you would have known about before, and lovely diverse ceremonies. You should though, check whether the celebrant is trained, is affiliated to any particular belief system, and whether they will write each ceremony fresh for each client.

So, what might be the most romantic way you can think of to express your commitment to the one you love on your wedding day?

Shevaun

 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this folks – your ideas and experiences as always are so inspirational to other readers.  Will you be personalising your vows – and if you hadn't planned on doing so, might this feature have made you think differently?  How would you choose those special words?  I'd love to hear from those of you who are already married and may have worked with a celebrant to personalise words and gestures during your wedding ceremony.

Shevaun Rafferty is a Life-Cycle Celebrant who works with her couples to create a highly personalised, one of a kind answer to the question she poses above. Shevaun writes all the wedding ceremonies that she conducts, presenting her couples with their own personalised copy of the ceremonies after the wedding day.  For further information, please visit Seasons of Light or The Celebrant Institute.

Annabel x