Last week, sat in a hotel room one Thursday evening as I rested after my latest London adventure, I found myself reading through one of my own blog posts, this one to be precise, big salty tears gently rolling down my cheek and tumbling softly down in to my lap. It wasn’t just the photographs that had particularly moved me (I had made a special effort to include as many beautiful heart felt and ’emotional’ photographs as I could, having read this inspirational feature the previous day). It was more the words I was reading that were having an impact this time.
The couple, Gabriel and Will, seem to have chosen the most touching words to be read a their Humanist wedding ceremony…
We chose four very different readings to reflect the different elements of relationships and marriage. The first focuses on the
passion and ecstasy of love, the second on the comfort and security love brings, the third on the fluidity of love and relationships and the fourth on companionship. We spent a long time choosing these readings and so many of the guests commented on how lovely they were. (from the real wedding feature of Gabriel & Will)
The readings really touched something inside and made a deep connection with me. I was feeling particularly sorry for myself at the time, having been away from love and comfort blanket of my own home since Tuesday morning and not due back until late the next day – and as I sat and reflected how much I missed my family, these words made my heart swell with love and a deep desire to be close to my husband.
Photography by Karen McGowran of my wedding day
This got me thinking. Readings have the opportunity of playing such an important role on your wedding day. They can cut through all the fabulous decorations and styling you have gone to the effort to make your day look fabulous and help to focus you, and your guests, as to the reason why you are all congregated in the room at that moment in time. And more than just a collection of words that speak about the joy of marriage, they can also provide you with a better understanding of how marriage gives purpose and reason to work through the challenging times that life will throw at you.
I recalled the readings we had on our own wedding day, and was keen to share these with my readers and initiate some discussion for those looking at choosing their own wedding day readings.
We had three readings on our wedding day on Friday 20th March 2009 – the first day of Spring that year. The first was read by my dear Godmother, Val. We chose it because it because to us, it helped us focus on what the act of marriage was all about – putting aside all the beautiful decor and pretty things we made together, this helped to keep me grounded;
Marriage Joins Two People in the Circle of It’s Love – by Edmund O’Neill
Marriage is a commitment to life, the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal. It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.
Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life’s most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child.
Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.
When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfil.
As she neared the end of her reading, I could sense Val was struggling to hold back her emotion. I looked towards her and mouthed “Thank You”. I could not have imagined a more perfect person to deliver these words, Val being in such a loving marriage herself, after many years, to her husband, Dave. I hold nothing but the fondest of memories of all the many occasions our families have spent time together.
Our second reading was delivered by my Husband’s Mum, Jan. It was more of a story than anything, one that reflected our love for the area we chose to marry in, which is steeped in it’s own romantic history…
“Those of you that know Philip and Annabel well, will know that they share a deep love of Whitby and the surrounding area. One of their favourite places to spend time relaxing, is a small village just a few miles inland from the coast, called Egton Bridge. Egton Bridge has been described as a rural paradise – a veritable Garden of Eden, a sylvan retreat, both tranquil and sublime. Perhaps this is because the beautiful river Esk – that so inspired Philip and Annabel in naming their daughter Eska, runs through this peaceful village – making it one of the prettiest spots in the whole of Eskdale.
Following the river from Egton Bridge to the neighbouring village of Glaisdale will bring you to a romantic spot, near ‘Beggars Bridge’. Beggars Bridge was built by Thomas Ferris, an Egton Bridge man, in 1619. Ferris was a poor man who hoped to wed the daughter of a wealthy local squire. In order to win her hand, he planned to set sail from Whitby to make his fortune. On the night that he left, the river Esk was swollen with rainfall and he was unable to make a last visit to his intended. He eventually returned from his travels a rich man and, after marrying the squire’s daughter, built Beggar’s Bridge so that no other lovers would be separated as they were. This story is prettily told in the following verses…”
You may roam for hours ‘mid sweet spring flowers,
With a gurgling beck beneath,
While the rustling breeze just parts the trees,
And reveals the sweet of the wild woods deep, Shut in the darkling heath.
You may hear the note of the blackbird float From the top of each tall ash tree,
When he pours his song each evening long;
For in true love tales such romantic dales Must needs abundant be.
The dalesmen say that their light archway
Is due to an Egton man
Whose love was tried by a whelming tide;
I heard this tale in its native vale
And thus the legend ran.
The Lovers Vow
I go to seek my fortune, love,
In a far, far distant land;
And without thy parting blessing, love,
I am forced to quit the strand
But over Arncliffe’s brow, my love,
I see thy twinkling light;
And when deeper waters part us, love,
‘Twill be my beacon bright
If fortune ever favour me,
Saint Hilda, hear I vow!
No lover again in my native plain
Shall be thwarted as I am now!
One day, I’ll come to claim my bride,
As a worthy and wealthy man!
And my well-earned gold shall raise a bridge
Across a torrent’s span.”
I later found out that Jan had been a shaky collection of nerves in the minutes prior to her speach. What a brave lady – I am not sure I could have delivered such a personal and wonderful reading in the same, confident way that she did, right from the heart, in front of all her friends and family.
The third and final reading we had delivered during our wedding ceremony was done so via a friend of ours. In contrast to the previous piece, it was short and sweet and reflected the day we chose to get married – the first day of spring – a symbolic act done so to represent a fresh start and new beginning in our lives.
I recall Scott approaching the front of the room – a man with a presence larger than life itself, yet I could sense his nerves as me moved past me to turn and address us all. Scott looked at us both, took a gentle breath in, and began…
Today is Spring Equinox – the very first day of Spring. It is not by chance that Philip and Annabel chose today to celebrate their coming together in marriage and the start of a new chapter in their life.
In Spring time, all of nature comes alive; the flowers of the plants breathing sweetly, give life and hope to a new beginning. Nature is stable and orderly and each Spring, the spirit of love returns, like the plants and leaves.
The power of the garden to inspire love, is expressed in this poem that was inscribed by an Egyptian Girl on a papyrus many years ago;
I belong to you, like this plot of land,
that I planted with flowers
and sweet smelling herbs.
Sweet in it’s stream,
shy by your hand,
refreshing in the North Wind.
A lovely place to wonder in,
Your hand in my hand.
As I recount all these words being read on our special day, I can feel those familiar salt spillages welling up in my eyes again! They mean so much to me – and I think at this time of year, as our anniversary approaches, they seem to have even more of an impact.
Have you chosen your wedding readings yet? Of if you’re already ensconsed in a life of wedded wonderment, what readings did you have on your wedding day, and why? There are a million websites available to help you find popular wedding readings (just Google!), but what about thinking beyond the screen and diving in to your book collection, or researching some poetry or using extracts from your favourite books or films or literature? I think there’s something wonderful about a couple making time to find readings that really deeply mean something to them, that were discovered together and very much reflect their attitudes and understanding of what the act of marriage means to them.
Finally, I thought I’d re-share one of my favourite readings from the real wedding feature that inspired this post. Because I’m feeling in a romantic mood…
What I Have Lived For’ by Bertrand Russell
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy – ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness – that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what – at last – I have found.
Get’s me every time. You know, it’s OK to cry on your wedding day, and before, and after 🙂
I’d love to hear your thoughts on wedding ceremony readings. What were/are yours going to be and why? Where did/are you looking for inspiration?
Have a lovely afternoon everyone,
Annabel
Annabel View all Annabel's articles
Founder of Love My Dress. Passionate Podcaster and Editor. Annabel lives in rural North Yorkshire with her husband and business partner Philip, their two daughters and menagerie of furry hounds. She loves photography, meditation, walking, being outdoors and star gazing. She is fierce when it comes to championing talent within the wedding industry and when she's not working on Love My Dress, she supports her husband Philip in the running of the family's sustainable flower farm and floral design business, Moonwind Flowers. In 2013, she became a published author.
Beautiful post Annabel.
I loved the process of picking out our readings. The written word is so precious to me and it felt like an important way to personalise our ceremony.
In the end we had three. A Lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton {for the laughs}, an extract from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin {one of my favourite books} and the lyrics to ‘Tonight’ by the Smashing Pumpkins. They were perfect, and all read so beautifully by our loved ones.
I can’t wait to see what others have chosen!
Franky xxx
We had 3 readings in total, a Bob Marley quote, a poem, and our favourite which was this:
“Before you place a ring upon the hand of your beloved, take a moment to examine the hands you hold in yours so that you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future. These are the hands that will love and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief comes to you. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will join your family as one. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it, support and encouragement to pursue your dreams, and comfort through difficult times. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch”
Oh wow! That’s amazing – where’s it from?
That brought a lump to my throat! Please let us know where it is from – so beautiful.
We also had A Lovely Love Story! 🙂 This is a great post because I know a lot of couples find it stressful deciding on readings!
And we had this one as the tear jerker:
Blessing of the Hands
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.
These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
My Husband and I had two reading at our service. We had firstly (read by my godmother)Shakespeare’s sonnet 116
And then we had my faveourite poem which was read by my cousin and I pretty much cried the whole way through
HAD I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
This is one of the readings that I am having. It’s so beautiful. My father chose it. He has terminal cancer so it’s going to be even more emotional than usual. He’s lost his voice due to the chemotherapy though so my sister will be reading it instead of him.
And, instead of a speech, he’s going to play Ed Sheeran’s ‘photograph’ on the guitar and play a slideshow in the background of me and my fiancé and our families growing from birth to where we are now.
I am going to be an emotional wreck but I can’t wait for the day xxx
Emma / Inbal – As far as I know the ‘Blessing of the Hands’ is annonymous. There are a few slightly varied versions on many different wedding related sites. I stumbled upon it just by googling wedding readings 🙂
Lovely post, I am starting to look for readings for my september wedding.
Amazing photos, Karen is doing my wedding and I already can’t wait to see them!
I know my pregnancy hormones have me all over the place at the moment, but this post has made me well up! I was doing just fine during our wedding ceremony until our friend Mark, an incredibly thoughtful man, stood up to read a traditional Irish blessing. As he did so, he turned to me and my husband and addressed the blessing directly to us, rather than the crowd looking at him. It broke me! Just goes to show it’s not always what you say, but how you say it.
Fantastic post, I actually had a lump in my throat and so good to be reminded of what really really matters on the wedding day – connections between people, memories and emotional authenticity. Thank you, this post has left me with a happy glow!
Thank you! It’s so beautiful. I’m going to share it with my fiancé and see what he thinks. If we use it, I’m going to need tissues! I’m also looking for one or two readings in French (his native language), if anyone has recommendations?!
x
Lots of lovely readings – great to see what others are using. I really love this one….
Union By Robert Fulghum
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks — all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will” — those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” — and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed — well I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another — acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you two. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this — is my husband, this — is my wife.
Hi Inbal! See Emma’s replies to the same query just above yours in the comments X
For reasons I can’t even explain in this little comments box, this just brought a whole new set of tears to my eyes. Powerful, powerful words. Thank you so much Christine xXx
Awww, thank you so much Caroline. This post really has been quite an emotional experience for me – in a good way, of course. The power of the written word should never be underestimated and reading back through readings you had on your wedding day can transport you right back there and then to that moment.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment XX
Thank you so much Andrew! I’m glad the post made you feel happy 🙂
We got married in New York, and it was literally just the two of us, our celebrant and our photographer (who happened to be a married couple!). So, the readings we chose were designed to be read by ourselves, to each other.
My husband chose a reading from the beautiful classic children’s book, The Velveteen Rabbit.
‘What is REAL?’ asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. ‘Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?’ ‘Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When someone loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, buy REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’ ‘Does it hurt? Asked the Rabbit. ‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’ ‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’ ‘ It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.’ ‘I suppose you are real?’ said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse only smiled. ‘Someone made me Real,’ he said. ‘That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.’
As for me; I chose a reading from my favourite poet, WB Yeats, from back in my A Level English Literature days.
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
Thank you my love. And for the record, you know that I cried all the way through your wedding ceremony right? Ask Emma. It’s true. Cried like a baby! 🙂
This is just lovely! And seems to have inspired our readers too – thank you Rebecca X
Oh that’s brilliant news! So happy you have chosen Karen, please send the photos my way once you have them Lindsay!
Much love,
Annabel X
I love this too, it’s so moving XX
“Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby.”
I love that so much 🙂
And the Yeats poem – quoted by another reader, is just incredible and really moved me.
Thank you so much Belinda – did you shed tears reading your words too? XX
I love you blog so much! Yeats is one of my favorite poets!
Gabriel your wedding is stunning and looks so intimate. Before I even read your comment, I was just staring at your wedding photos. They just seem real and warm and sweet.
Such a beautiful post and everyone has such amazing quotes and stories. I will be down that road soon and this post made me so happy!
Absolutely! No-one noticed though, as I was standing at the edge of the Hudson River in subzero, snowy weather and the wind was so wild it tore the tears from my eyes as I shed them 🙂
There’s an oblique reference to the Velveteen Rabbit quotation in Bridget Jones’ Diary (definitely the book, not sure about the film) – so that’s how Bridget saw Mark Darcy 🙂
Huge thanks to everyone who has so far contributed to these comments – I know they’ll inspire our readers to much, so thank you XX
Thank you so much Karen – it was such an honour to have our wedding featured on Annabel’s beautiful blog!
Wedding days are always special. Ours was over 42 years ago here in Britain and although things were done on a smaller scale we have treasured memories of that day. Excellent and moving blog!!
There should be a warning on this blog – do not read while at work! Have to hide the fact I’m welling up!
Beautiful readings and ideas, I’m definitely going to share this with my fiance.
You’ve made my heart happy today.
Thank you all x
Oh Dawn, thank *you* so much! What a lovely comment to have left, I’m so happy the post has inspired you xXx