The
lights dim and bodies huddle together around the dance floor. A DJ calls the
attention of the masses to the couple at the centre of the action, introducing
the newlyweds to the audience for their first dance. It’s been a long day: some
people have been up since the crack of dawn travelling or beautifying or just
unable to sleep with the excitement.
A
beat pounds through the room, bass rippling through the sprung floor as
coloured lights flash schizophrenically and dance across a sea of faces
breathless with anticipation. The couple sidle into one another’s arms,
awkwardly at first, before losing themselves to the romance of the music as
their bodies meld together as one.
Image Credit: KB Image Photography, via ISPWP
The
song blossoms into a well-known refrain or perhaps remains obscure to the ears
of the audience, but the weight of the lyrics and poignancy of this particular
song at this particular moment is of paramount importance to the couple
shuffling together, lost in the words they whisper to each other and the jokes
they share concealed beneath the level of the music.
And
then, just like that, the culmination of months of planning, scheming, dreaming
and waiting seems to explode into a cloud of relief that floats up from the
newlyweds. The adrenaline, the emotion and the chaos of the best day
ever collide and subside as the music
belts out. Two hearts beat faster in tandem, knowing that they’ve done it –
they made it to the altar and they completed their vows. They’re married. It’s
surreal and brilliant and magic and all wrapped up in a bow of marvellousness
in this first dance.
Image Credit: Dennis Drenner, via ISPWP
I’ve
lost track of the amount of people who have told me that they were completely
in control of themselves during the wedding ceremony but found a rogue tear
escaping down their cheek during the first dance – and I’m talking about both
newlyweds and wedding guests.
It
seems to me that the emphasis is, rightly so, on the momentousness of the
wedding ceremony and the words that are exchanged therein. As a result, it’s
often the case that by the time the DJ announces the first dance people don’t
realise what a euphoric moment of release it can be.
Image Credit top: Elizabeth Messina + Image Credit Bottom: Holland Photo Arts via ISPWP
Now,
I’m no fool. I know that part of the reason that a lot of people are emotional
by 8pm is due in no small part to the fact that a considerable quantity of
champagne and wine may well have been consumed! But, be that as it may, as the
token sober person in the room, the strength of feeling that surrounds a couple
as their friends and family gather around them on the dance floor is undeniably
powerful and moving.
For
a moment you might feel like a bit of a numpty with dozens of pairs of eyes
watching you shuffle self-consciously around together, but my advice to you is
to let it go. Let every stress you’ve been holding in the run up to your wedding
melt away in that moment. Revel in the embrace of your partner; luxuriate in
the feel of their arms around you and the smell of fragrance in the nape of
their neck. Let the lyrics of your song infiltrate your brain and bind you with
their significance.
Image Credit: Anna With Love
Most
of all, take time to look up and glance around at the faces of your loved ones
on the periphery of the dance floor. I guarantee that each and every one of
them will be feeling their hearts swell as they silently bestow the pair of you
with every good wish for your future. You’ll never be surrounded by more love
than you are in that moment.
I'd love your thoughts on the first dance. Is it something that terrifies you or something you might even be taking lessons for. Newlyweds – was the first dance the experience you always thought it would be? Anyone avoiding it all together?
Emma
You might also want to read the feature 'What is your first dance track and why?'
Annabel View all Annabel's articles
Founder of Love My Dress. Passionate Podcaster and Editor. Annabel lives in rural North Yorkshire with her husband and business partner Philip, their two daughters and menagerie of furry hounds. She loves photography, meditation, walking, being outdoors and star gazing. She is fierce when it comes to championing talent within the wedding industry and when she's not working on Love My Dress, she supports her husband Philip in the running of the family's sustainable flower farm and floral design business, Moonwind Flowers. In 2013, she became a published author.
I loved our first dance. It was unrehearsed and done in my socks, but it was ace.
I think the first dance is under rated, for all the reasons you emotionally describe. It is one of the few moments you get spend with just each other in a whirlwind of a day and its really special. For us, we didn’t like the idea of shuffling around in front of everyone because we don’t dance so we took inspiration from our friend & photographer, Lisa Jane Photography. We did ours during our photo shoot, with only Lisa & Shutterbox films there to capture. Even they didn’t hear the song, we had an iPod with headphones each and we enjoyed a quiet moment just us, by the river. We laughed, we smiled, we enjoyed quiet and we made fools of ourselves and it was everything we could have hoped. That is, until we saw the pictures back as Lisa had captured every breath we would otherwise have forgotten. I am a HUGE first dance convert – but it needs to be done the way you want to do it. X
Well I must admit, prior to our wedding, I kind of dreaded the prospect of a first dance, and in the end, it really was more like a shuffle to be honest, as our 3 year old daughter wouldn’t leave us alone – hehe!
However, it’s funny as I wss thinking about this very issue the other day, and how much I love the notion of a beautiful romantic first dance – having the balls to just forget everyone else is there, feeling the warmth of your loved one – a gorgeous, precious little moment in life. Perhaps one day I’ll get to renew my vows and have that first dance that we missed first time round. Wild abandon and all 🙂
I love this idea Leanne, love it XX
Soooooo, did I ask if I can feature your wedding hmm??? 🙂 XXXXXX
We started off having lessons and it became such a worry that we decided to scrap the whole idea and just be ourselves. We had this feeling that it would hang over us for the entire day if we had to pull of some show-stopping performance. We did the right thing – in the end we were relaxed and just enjoyed the moment…
I totally understand this Mrs K, I really do XX
I think that might ring a bell…
🙂
Please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeease? 🙂
xXx
Our snaps are being edited today! Will have a word with Emma & ask her to share x
First dance? Oh, I can’t wait for ours! I tried for ages to get my fiancee to come to swing dance lessons before we got engaged (he was an absolutely awful dad dancer! And I mean terrible, out of time and everything) but he kept refusing. Then we got engaged and I thought I’d use the first dance excuse to blackmail him into at least coming along to a couple of lessons, if only to help him harness a little rthymn. It took him exactly two lessons to become addicted, and a nearly a year on, we are actually really rather good – we’ve made lots of new friends, go out regularly and dance to jazz, swing etc and both love it. Plus, our families have no idea we’ve been dancing so they’ll get a huge shock when they realise, though no cheesy routines for us; we’ll just make it up on the day with him leading and me following and I can’t ruddy wait 😀
I think there is a bit of an expectation to pick something that everyone knows or something that really WOWS everyone. There was never going to be any other contender that the song we picked, we did worry slightly that people wouldn’t recognise and think it slightly obscure. However on the night we awkwardly shuffled along, thinking ‘why didn’t we practise this’ but do you know what – everyone loved it because it was special to us!
We had a first dance choreographed and planned but totally forgot to do it on the night! By that point, the band had come on and already started playing (our dance was to a Dean Martin song which was on an iPod, the band were a French swing band so it wouldn’t have worked). I only realised because I noticed the dancefloor was empty – because everyone was waiting for us to christen the dancefloor and do our dance. We quickly did a dance and asked everyone to join us. We threw in a few of the spins and moves we had learnt and it was all a lot more natural. Loved it!
You so nailed it saying that Fiona – I can see why couples think they have to pick a tune to impress/satisfy guests – however in all honesty, most of the brides we feature all say they chose a song because of the lyrics or it meant something to them. Perhaps that says a lot about our readers being able to be true to themselves 🙂
Sounds like your first dance was perfect to me XX
Oh that made me giggle! You planned so carefully then completely forgot to do it! Just goes to show, the best laid plans, and all….!
Love that you threw in some dance floor shapes to encourage your guests to join you 🙂
That would make me very happy indeed 🙂 XXXXX
Amazing!!!! Love love love love love. I really actually adore the idea of learning to dance with your partner, really love it, and apart from anything, think of all the added side benefits – it’s fun, it burns off those pesky calories! 😉
I don’t think even I can ruddy wait to see your wedding photographs now! 😉
xXx
I didn’t really enjoy our first dance, i was nervous, we don’t dance together and so we shuffled around, the whole time just chatting to one another to distract us from everyone staring at us (i got a very sore neck!!). However my fave moment of the whole night was the LAST dance, although unplanned our band played ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis, an anthem of my generation and we swayed drunkenly together while our whole wedding linked arms and sung it to us. Moral of the story- make sure you’re drunk for the dancing! 😀 xx
Lovely comments from you all and nice to see the scope of your first dances, from planned perfections to off the cuff shuffles. For what it;s worth, my own first dance was not terribly enjoyable for us even though we loved our song, but it seemed to last forever! Like Chelsea, my fondest memory is actually of our last dance when all of our (still standing) guests swamped the dance floor and surrounded us and it was really emotional…and I was sober!
Ah, the first dance. A quickstep to the the on The Muppet Show. A fabulous moment. Didn’t matter that we went wrong, didn’t matter that we didn’t look like we were competing on Strictly, we made it our own. In the run up to the wedding it was great to have one whole hour a week where we could think about nothing else other than each other and what our feet were doing. So glad we did it! On the other hand, one of my friends was so terrified about their first dance they didn’t do one but had a song that they asked the DJ to play as part of his set. When it came on, they told noone it was their first dance. It just took a canny observer to realise it was the first time they had danced together all night. Like all weddings, it should be a collection of things that you both love. If you love dancing, go for it, if you don’t, rope in the bridesmaids for a bit of Gangnam style!
Because of the way we did our first dance (alone) it meant that the first time we were on the dance floor together people thought that was our “first dance”, which happened to be me serenading him with Sinitta’s ‘So Macho’, which is both hilarious and perfect!!!
Beautiful pics
kisses
Cassandra
http://www.cassandramamonejewellery.blogspot.com.au
Oh I just love that first image, you can just feel that raw emotion.
Love Leanne’s idea of dancing together, just you two with headphones, sounds wonderful! We’ve had some amazing first dance requests over the years, some really beautiful tracks. I think you’re right, there is a lot of expectation on the first dance, and, no, it’s not for everybody. We often have couples who would like us to perform a shortened version of the song so that they don’t have to endure too long in the dancing limelight. We’ve also met so many couples who have had lessons and really enjoyed the opportunity to learn something new, special and unique just to them, together. It really is your day, your decision and your first dance as husband and wife, so it should be everything you want it to be.
We always say to pick a song that means something to both of you, which will make you smile when you hear it again. If not, something fun and easy to dance to is always a winner! 😀