As I was preparing this feature to share with you, I felt such a sense of awareness of how very passionately I feel about portraying love and marital commitment via Love My Dress, as something that is not and should not be defined by gender, sexuality, race or age. It’s why, with all my heart, I want to support events like One Love, why I feature civil partnerships and why I was absolutely thrilled that the British government recently legalised same-sex marriages.
To me, this morning’s wedding is a fabulous example of all that should be required in order for a couple to be legally married – wherever they are in the world, and that is a shared mutual love. A love for one another so strong that these two people are willing to commit their lives to one another.
Love, pure and simple. because that, really, is all that matters.
Annette and Adam tied the knot on 21st July 2013 with a civil partnership ceremony at Stoke Newington Town Hall Council Chamber, followed by a reception at The Londesborough in Stoke Newington, London. Adam, who looks fantastic in his bespoke mustard Newman Pearce suit is a transgender: he was born female, but is now a man.
Photography Copyright © 2013, Tom Ravenshear
Annette who wears an equally dandy Newman Pearce suit in moss green talks us through this laid, back, relaxed, London pub wedding…
“We styled our day around 1930s jazz-era New Orleans, because I think we both wish we’d been born then! Adam is transgender but has never changed the gender on his birth certificate, so he’s legally
still female. In order for us to get ‘married’ Adam would have had to
change his birth certificate, which he didn’t want to do – he had no
interest in changing history. So we decided to get civil-partnered
instead. It felt like a much more honest reflection of our situation – much more fitting.”
“We met through mutual friends, at a club night in East London. Adam
had just received some really bad news, was very drunk on whiskey and
was being a cranky old ass. So I stalked him until he agreed to become
my friend. We went on a couple of dates, decided we wanted to be each
other’s favourites and a year later, got engaged. A year after that, we
got wed.
We chose Stoke Newington Town Hall
for a few reasons – it’s just down the road from our house (lazies), we
love Stokie, the Council Chamber is an incredibly beautiful art deco
room (which fitted into our ‘theme’) and Adam’s parents grew up around
Stokie. It ticked a lot of boxes.”
“There was no dress! We both wore bespoke tailored suits, made for us by the fine folks at Newman Pearce. We decided to have suits because I don’t wear dresses. We also
didn’t want our wedding outfits to be gendered – there was no bride,
groom or gendered language on the day either. We both love tailoring,
and our suits fitted in with our theme.”
“We walked down the aisle to ‘My Heart’ by Wildbirds and
Peacedrums. We walked out to ‘Birdhouse in Your Soul’ by They Might Be
Giants.”
“Instead of toasting with champagne, we toasted with absinthe
instead! All our guests were allowed to take the absinthe spoons home.
We also had little brown bags with our initials stamped on them to take
home the sweets, marshmallows and popcorn.”
“All food supplied by The Londesborough pub, including a three course
meal, six flavours of popcorn and late-night bagels. We also had vintage
sweets from Hope & Greenwood.
We didn’t have a traditional wedding cake – instead we had
marshmallows from The London Marshmallow Company. We had vanilla,
American mint and peanut butter (they were all incredible). We also had pistachio and chocolate macarons from Le Parc Deli in Stoke Newington.”
“We had hand-made bunting, made from brown paper printed with
vintage etchings and threaded along brown string. We also had while
lanterns hanging from the ceiling, plants, and vintage wallpaper samples
covering the glass cabinets in the venue. We also had a vintage
typewriter, and lots of coloured glass bottles throughout the venue.”
“Martin was our sort-of best man, and he was also in a bespoke tailored suit by Newman Pearce.”
Words of Wedded Wisdom…
“Be
yourself. It’s your day, from start to finish. If you don’t want to wear
a dress, don’t. If you don’t want a first dance, don’t have one. Don’t
get lost in the idea of what a wedding should be. Adam and I are big ole
queers, and we knew a ‘normal’ wedding wouldn’t fit. So we didn’t have
one.
Also, be super organised and do as much as you can
as early as you can. You don’t want to be dealing with logistics in the
week leading up to the wedding. Spreadsheets are your friend!
We definitely wouldn’t have done anything
differently – it was so perfect. My favourite part of the day
was kissing my beloved during our vows (oops, a bit prematurely) and
the entire room whooping, cheering and clapping us. Swoon. Adam’s was walking into the ceremony venue, holding my hand, and
seeing all our favourite people together smiling and being happy for us.
I’ve loved being able to share this wedidng with you, a truly unique and wonderful day – thank you so much Annette and Adam, and huge thanks as always to our brilliant talented photography sponsor Tom Ravenshear.
You can see more civil partnerships here on Love My Dress.
Pop back at lunch time and again this afternoon my loves for more wedding inspiration.
Annabel
Photographer – Tom Ravenshear
Reception – Stoke Newington Town Hall Council Chamber + The Londesborough
Both Suits – Newman Pearce + bowtie via Anthem at The Hill-Side + braces via Bromleys
Shoes – Grenson
Flowers – DIY with flowers from Homebase
Cars/Transport – Black cabs
Entertainment – Raw Like Sissy
Additional Styling –
Catering – + macarons via Le Parc Deli
Sweets – Hope & Greenwood + marshmellows via The London Marshmallow Company
Stationery – Project Lovel
Annabel View all Annabel's articles
Founder of Love My Dress. Passionate Podcaster and Editor. Annabel lives in rural North Yorkshire with her husband and business partner Philip, their two daughters and menagerie of furry hounds. She loves photography, meditation, walking, being outdoors and star gazing. She is fierce when it comes to championing talent within the wedding industry and when she's not working on Love My Dress, she supports her husband Philip in the running of the family's sustainable flower farm and floral design business, Moonwind Flowers. In 2013, she became a published author.
