I never anticipated writing this little Friday lunch time feature. It was supposed to be a month long of online celebrations, a series of blog posts to mark and shout about our 5th blogging birthday. That’s half a whole decade since I took my first tentative steps in to the unknown lands of ‘blogosphere’ – a thrilling and enticing world of the unknown back then – a world that would end up changing my life, career and the way I now look at everything.
But then life happened and my Grandpa got really, really poorly, and to be honest, I didn’t really feel like celebrating at all. Those of you who follow Love My Dress on Instagram may well have picked up on this in recent postings.
It’s been a difficult few weeks to be honest, culminating in the sudden arrival of December and sense that I just wasn’t ready to embrace the festive period in all it’s tinselly glory and that actually, I had better get my groove on and sort my ruddy Christmas list out. Panic. Plans to erect a tree were hastily brought forward and yesterday lunch time was spent Christmas shopping online whilst simultaneously slurping on my warming winter soup.
Enter our Instagram competition to win one of 5 of these framed illustrations
to celebrate Love My Dress® turning *5* years old!
As the usual commotion and buzz of christmas tree decorating ensued last night, I found myself pausing, statue like, as the children were lifted up to the top of the tree by their Daddy to add the decorative fairy. Everything around me seemed to grind to a halt and The MTV Christmas music channel sounded like it was echoing out the Slade anthem in slo-mo dramatic movie scene style. All of a sudden, my mind came in to sharp focus. I could feel a tear welling as I realised that Christmas just wouldn’t be the same this year, or any year after this. But whilst I felt momentarily sad at this thought, I realised that this was an opportunity to grasp at that moment, breathe, and be aware just how lucky I was, to be decorating my tree at all with my two gorgeous little girls and husband. Life can be horrible at this time of year for so many others.
Sometimes the saddest things can give you reason to find new happiness and appreciation for all those things you took for granted or overlooked before, can’t they? Cancer is a truly vile disease and just because my Grandpa is elderly doesn’t make it any less difficult for us to all accept and bear. Age doesn’t diminish love. Love is eternal. And seeing someone suffer when they are old and ‘had a good innings’ doesn’t make it any less bearable.
When I last saw my Gramps last week, I had prepared a short message for him, which I had written over several pages of a little note jotter that my daughter had brought for me at a Christmas fair. I knew Grandpa would struggle to hear me if I tried to ‘tell’ him my message, so I thought that in between his long bouts of sleep, I could try to get him to see the message if I held the notepad really close to his face. I am beyond thankful that I got to share my message that day and let Grandpa know what an influence and inspiration he has been to me, and how grateful I am for him passing his entrepreneurial spirit on to me. When I find myself facing difficult decisions around my business, I think, ‘what might Grandpa have done? He was a smart business man!” – and it comforts me to feel his presence at these times. It was a really emotional experience for me but one that fills my heart with gratitude when I think about it.
After remaining awake just long enough to read and acknowledge my message with an almost unregisterable nod, my Grandpa looked at me and whispered“Be happy. Be happy.”
December is surely to goodness a month to be happy if ever there was one and I am intending on embracing this festive feel-good factor and remembering what my dear Grandpa said to me last week from here on.
I am so happy that we are in a position to celebrate our fifth birthday. How amazing! I have so very much to thank this blog for and I don’t want to let this wonderful milestone pass without acknowledging all the positive changes it has brought in to my life – a career I adore, new friends, colleagues, experiences, perspective, collaborations and travel opportunities, and best of all, the knowledge that what we share every day is inspiring so many of you out there – making you smile, discover amazing new things and re-think the concept of marriage.
If there is anyone who could be shouting from the roof-tops about this if he could , it would be my lovely, wonderful, adoring Grandpa.
To celebrate turning 5, I’m running an little Instagram competition here to give away five fully hand-taped, mounted and framed copies of the very beautiful ‘lady Love My Dress’, who makes up part of our branding by the uber-talented Helen Simms.
If you’d like to win one of these illustrations, please like this Instagram post and be kind enough to leave a word or two next to the image – perhaps just to say hello, or why you’d like to win the image, or perhaps why you love visiting Love My Dress. Because hearing from our readers and followers makes me so happy – I love to hear from you all.
Thank you for joining me in celebrating our 5th birthday – I hope you have the loveliest Friday afternoon and a very happy weekend, whatever you’re up to.
I feel I need to sign out with a little rendition of song I recall so fondly my Grandpa singing to my sister and I when we were young. Join me, won’t you? All together now…
I’m H.A.P.P.Y
I’m H.A.P.P.Y
I know I am, I’m sure I am,
I’m H.A.P.P.Y!
Hehe!
Love Annabel x
Annabel View all Annabel's articles
Founder of Love My Dress. Passionate Podcaster and Editor. Annabel lives in rural North Yorkshire with her husband and business partner Philip, their two daughters and menagerie of furry hounds. She loves photography, meditation, walking, being outdoors and star gazing. She is fierce when it comes to championing talent within the wedding industry and when she's not working on Love My Dress, she supports her husband Philip in the running of the family's sustainable flower farm and floral design business, Moonwind Flowers. In 2013, she became a published author.
Dear Annabel,
Your post was what I needed today. my Grandpa is currently lying in ICU and I am struggling as the news gets worse each day. We now know he will never be the same again and potentially will never breathe by himself. I agree about age, when you say grandpa people automatically assume he has had a good life and his time had come, not at all, I am angry today about the fact that his time has come. Your post has made me realise I do need to go and get the tree and I do need to appreciate the fact that this is my first Christmas a married woman, with a wonderful husband. Thank you Annabel. I am so sorry about your grandpa, what lovely words to cherish. x
Oh Naomi, I am so sorry to hear about your Grandpa, what a sad time for you. My personal experience so far has made me question how older people are valued in society and how there’s an assumption that goes something like ‘well, they had a good life, so, what can you really expect’. It doesn’t make it any less painful for those left who love that person so much. The whole experience for me has made me value what I have so much more and also try to be gentler, kinder, more understanding, for you never know how limited your precious life on this earth may be.
Go get that tree and smile as you decorate it. I am sure your Grandpa would want this very much for you.
All my love,
Annabel xXx
Oh Annabel, your words have touched me deeply and I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I am very fortunate to have my Nan and Grandad with me, so I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. Our grandparents are our backbones and I think your Grandad’s words are so true – keep them with you. Congratulations on 5 years of Love my Dress – an incredible achievement and, while I’m junior in my blogging journey, I hope I can be as successful as you in time. Sending you lots of love. Leanne x
Hello Leanne,
Thank you for taking time to leave a comment here, I have been very lucky to be fair, I’m 40 and only lost my Grandma in 2011. I was lucky enough to have them all that time in my life – it’s incredible really, and I’m so very thankful. It is sad, but Grandpa telling me to be happy has really stayed with me these past few days and I am determined to use it to help me turn sadness in to happiness and the negative in to positive.
Good luck in your blogging journey, I love blogging so much, it is one of the best things I ever did and that ever happened to me and has brought me so much happiness and joy!
Love Annabel xXx
To Annabelle, thank you so much for your post, it really touched me. My grandma passed away the week before last and although her service on Monday was wonderful with a packed church full of her friends and family it has left a feeling of sadness in me that is making it hard to enjoy getting in to the Christmas period. I know I need to just look at my wonderful husband and son and think about how lucky I am to have them. Thank you so much, I needed this today. Oh and sorry, congratulations on your 5 year business birthday!
Amanda x
I’m so happy that my feature has made you think positively Amanda and thank you ever so much for your lovely birthday wishes, they mean a lot!
Love Annabel xXx
Such a moving story that puts into perspective what life can really be like for some despite the Christmas cheer and festivities that adorn social media . I absolutely adore your positivity and I know it will help you to keep ticking along even on a less positive day. So glad to hear that the feel good December is back! 2014 has been our most difficult year for a variety of reasons but from experience optimism, hope and a touch of sparkle certainly help to get you through! I hope you are able to enjoy your fifth birthday and reflect on how you have inspired so many couples at such happy times in their lives. Thank you for a wonderful blog and as ever your words of wisdom!
Sending sparkle, Klee x
This has truly made me smile and feel all warm inside Klee – thank you so, so much for taking the time to leave such supportive and kind words.
Have a lovely, happy weekend,
Annabel xXx
Sending you all my love and wishing you a happy 5th Birthday blog, R
Thank you so much lovely Rebecca x x x