The Truth About Wedding Planning – The Highs & Lows Every Bride Will Know!

the truth about wedding planning

Hello again and it is, as always, such a treat to be back here on Love My Dress with the latest feature in my wedding planning series. Today, I’m talking wedding planning truths and in particular some of the highs and lows that almost every bride will experience and resonate with at some point (or event points!) throughout their wedding planning journey.

As always, my aim is to let you know that you’re definitely not alone, to celebrate the common highs and offer guidance and advice for dealing with those all too familiar lows.

The Truth About Wedding Planning – the highs and lows every bride will know! Written by Katrina Otter for Love My Dress.

 

1. Decisions & Deadlines

No matter what stage of the planning process you’re at, it can seem like there’s a never-ending stream of deadlines to meet and decisions to make.  It’s therefore completely understandable if, at times, these decisions and deadlines leave you feeling overwhelmed, demotivated and even a little down.  However, there are definitely a few ways that you can avoid becoming a slave to deadlines or buckling under the pressure of mounting decisions.

Firstly, and most importantly, pace yourself! If you have the luxury of time on your side, then you definitely don’t need to do everything at once! Instead, break up your to-do list by creating a simple and straightforward wedding planning timeline.  That way you can prioritise decisions and deadlines and manage them in a more efficient and enjoyable manner.

Secondly, don’t be an ostrich! By that, I mean don’t bury your head in the sand and avoid (or procrastinate) making decisions as that will only make matters worse and waste not only your own time but also that of potential or confirmed suppliers.  If suppliers give you a deadline, then make a note of it in your diary and aim to make any decisions at least a week prior as that way you’ll also have a little wiggle room for any last-minute amendments. Finally, if you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed by mounting decisions and deadlines then there’s absolutely no point in letting it get the better of you so TAKE A STEP BACK.  Step away from the planning, and take some time to regroup – that way you’ll hopefully come back to planning refreshed, refocused and ready to tackle the decisions and deadlines once again.

2. Hic-cups & Mistakes

Another low point for sure but whatever happens, don’t think that you’re the only person out there to encounter a wedding planning hic-up or mistake.  Hic-cups are, I’m afraid, pretty much par for the course. The most important thing to remember is that everyone is human and there’s always a way past whatever stumbling blocks are littering your path

The best way to proceed is always with a big dose of honesty and a head-on attack plan!  If you’ve made a mistake, own up quickly and ask for help.  If there’s a hic-cup, speak to people who’ll understand and see what they suggest (the Love My Dress group on Facebook is a fantastic starting point for this).  Sitting and fretting in silence will only make you feel worse and won’t be of any practical help at all.

3. Loneliness

Now, this might seem like a funny thing to mention but sometimes, planning a wedding can be a really lonely thing.  There are so many elements that only you can sort out and so many decisions that only you can make that you can at times feel like you’re on your own. I hear lots of brides talking about sitting up until the early hours obsessing over lists, admin and details and it’s not often something you can share with a friend.

But again, don’t despair because, of course, you’re never on your own.  There are plenty of places online where you can chat to other people who are going through exactly the same thing and if you’re working with a wedding planner, let me tell you now that we expect emails at all hours so if there’s anything on your mind or you’re feeling a bit blue, a bit lonely or a bit unsure, there’s absolutely no need to go through it on your own.

4. Causing An Upset

Personally, this is the lowest point of planning a wedding and also the one that we’re almost powerless to avoid!  It can be a hard thing to grasp that whatever you do and however hard you try; someone is likely to take issue with something you plan.  Whether it’s tension over the table plan or guest list or comments about your wedding style or gift list, there’s always someone who thinks that their opinion is the only one that matters.

The best way to deal with this is to just rise above it.  Remember that THIS IS YOUR WEDDING and that you’ve planned it with the best of intentions to represent you as a couple.  You’ve not set out to upset people but you have had to make decisions and if they don’t suit some people perfectly, that’s unfortunate.  However, please don’t try to adapt and change your plans to make sure that everyone else gets their version of a perfect wedding because all that will happen is that it will stop being your day and that would be the saddest thing of all.

5. Budgets & Money

Of course I couldn’t ignore this (especially given my last feature about unexpected wedding costs!) because budgeting and money management is an integral part of wedding planning. It can also be a real low because having to alter plans, cut things out or adjust your expectations can be really tough.

This is where being honest with yourselves from the start is really important.  Work out what you can sensibly afford to spend and budget accordingly.  In fact, aim to spend less than your maximum figure so you’ve got a little reserve in case of emergencies.  Be honest with suppliers about your budget and don’t put yourself into situations that could prove tricky later on.  So, avoid that dress shop where the gowns start above your budget and don’t tempt yourself by checking availability with venues and suppliers that are clearly out of your price range.  Everyone has a wedding budget, money is always finite and if you control it, it won’t get you down.

Of course, I’ve talked a lot here about the low points because I want you to know how common they are and how it’s absolutely possible to navigate through the choppy waters of wedding planning to avoid (or at least lessen!) the lows altogether.  However, all that said, wedding planning includes some completely amazing highs that you’ll probably remember for the rest of your life so let’s remind ourselves how fabulous this time really is.

When you’re planning your wedding, you’ll get to learn lots of new skills and try lots of new things.  You might try your hand at floristry, calligraphy, crafts or something else entirely and you’ve got your wedding to thank for that opportunity.  You’ll also get to go to places you might never have visited or try foods and wines that you’d never have sampled.  You’ll get fabulous photos with your friends and family and a whole raft of experiences you’ll never forget such as dress shopping, hen weekends and so much more.

I know I mentioned earlier that wedding planning can often cause a little bit of family angst but, on the flip side, I hear so many more stories of examples where a wedding has re-ignited friendships and made relationships better.  Your wedding will give you the opportunity to spend time with family and friends and even encourage you to reconnect with old friends or family members that you’ve not spoken to for some time.  For every story of upset, there’s many more of happiness and joy.

When you’re planning a wedding, you also become part of the wedding community.  As a bride-to-be you get to connect with like-minded people all over the world.  The portrait that the media loves to paint of the wedding industry that includes suppliers as money-grabbing charlatans and brides as self-indulgent borderline obsessives couldn’t be further from the truth.

Lastly, your wedding is all about you. I don’t mean that in a selfish way, I rather mean it as a unique opportunity to celebrate all the extraordinary things that make you you.  You can celebrate your personality, your life and, most importantly, your loves in a way that you just don’t get to do at any other time.  Your wedding is the excuse that sometimes we all need to focus on ourselves for a little bit in a world that is always pushing us on to the next thing.  You’re now allowed to slow down, look around you and smile.

So, whilst I acknowledge that wedding planning can be tricky at times, the real truth about it is that, when you stop to think about it, it’s a wonderful experience full of some amazing highs and unique opportunities.

Love Kat x

 

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Wedding & Event Planner Katrina Otter specialises in bringing beautiful, timeless and classically elegant wedding design to life, adding a touch of contemporary styling to create exquisite, perfectly organised weddings throughout the UK.  Whether you’d like help organising your entire wedding, managing the day itself, creating the design for your day or finding the perfect venue or team of suppliers, Katrina can tailor her planning services to provide precisely the right level of support you require. Katrina is a regular contributor to Love My Dress. Visit her webpage at katrinaotterweddings.co.uk.

Katrina

Katrina View all Katrina's articles

I’m a planner, strategist, designer, thinker, doer, perfectionist, artist, creative, partner, friend, and I’m passionate about supporting the incredible community of Love My Dress readers by sharing my knowledge of weddings and wedding planning via regular, HONEST and practical planning features. As part of the Love My Dress team, I love having the opportunity to explore different aspects of wedding planning and since 2015 have covered everything from learning how to embrace imperfection to pressures, worries and wobbles. You can find out more about who I am, what I do, my style, my approach, and the wedding planning support services I offer at Katrina Otter Weddings.

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