Good morning again! Well given it's my birthday today, I'm going to attempt to have a wee bit of time for myself. I'm popping out this morning for a couple of hours and would like to leave you in the very capable hands of my lovely friend and Wedding Blogger Anna, who shares her thoughts and contemplations on the post-wedding 'thank you' card…
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Hello ladies and gents, I'm back. Oh yes, Anna and the Ring is here again with more opinions. I am very much grateful for your thoughts on my last post on the wonderful Love My Dress.
Now, my mother would scoff if she read this as I am sure she feels I am entirely uncouth but I really do still believe in common courtesies. They cost you next to nothing and in my opinion I like to treat people in the way in which I would like to be treated. In this case it is the humble, or oft not so humble, thank you note.
Love My Dress Wedding Blog – 'Type {Face} Thanks' card, available from Hello Lucky…
Oh my who would have thought the perfect thank you note could be so elusive? I'm not saying mine were perfect. Far from it. One might say I have learnt from my/our mistakes. (And may I say that I should have read Bean's cards before he sent them and perhaps I should have supervised him posting said cards. Mine went out within a month whereas his were hand delivered at a party – which included the invite to said party 3 months later. I'm not bitter – obviously!)
I know that your wedding is important to you but just take a moment to think about your guests.
Take a moment to think about weddings you've attended in the past. Think about the time you've spent travelling to and from venues… The lost days of annual leave. The new outfits. The days away from your beloved cat. The taxis, the petrol, the horrible hotels. I'm not saying for one second you begrudge any of this money or time spent to be with those you care about with all your heart. However, being a wedding guest is not all rainbows and unicorns. I have scrimped and saved so I could attend weddings far and wide. I wanted to be there. The least I expect is a proper thank you…
Love My Dress Wedding Blog – Thank you cards available from the lovely Vicky Trainor
It's hard being a bride on your wedding day. You are pulled in every direction. You get caught up in little groups and time flies and so I know you may not have time to thank every guest properly. Your thank you card is your chance to give your heartfelt thanks to everyone who was part of your day.
So here are the rules. Some are not meant to be broken…
1. Thank you cards must be sent as soon as possible. I would suggest within one month but at the very latest three months.
2. If you are unable to send them quickly you must apologise profusely as part of the thank you. You may have just got caught up in being a newlywed or perhaps caught in an ash cloud and forced to stay in the Maldives for 6 months!
3. Yes, it is nice for them to match the rest of your stationery but it is by no means necessary. If you wish to do this you should order them at the same time as you order the rest of your stationery.
4. Keep a detailed list of all of the people you owe thanks. Bean loved his spreadsheet. Remember to thank your suppliers if they deserve thanks.
5. Unless you and your husband have no hands, your cards should be handwritten. A handwritten card is a thing of beauty. Seriously is there anything more wonderful to find as you open your door after a long day at work? I admit my handwriting is very much that of a doctor but if you practise it does get better. I promise but you have to want to try. I didn't write my letters with a fountain pen but I did use a nice pen which does help make it appear prettier! Under no circumstances should you use pre-printed thank you cards. They are hideous monstrosities which should be sought out and destroyed. Soulless and incredibly rude. In fact I would go as far to say I would prefer no note in their place. Awful.
Love My Dress Wedding Blog – Beautiful stationery from Artcadia
6. I love this planet and do think we waste an ridiculously amount of paper. However there is a time and a place for an email. This is neither the time nor the place. Paper and handwritten it is. Do we all understand now?!
7. If you are suddenly taken seriously ill after your wedding you yourself may have an excuse but your husband or wife certainly does not. Just write the cards. If there are incredible stresses in your life use them as a outlet to show your love for the people who care about you.
8. Don't attempt to write them all in one sitting. Otherwise you will just write the same thing again and again. They should reflect your relationship with the recipient. They should be heartfelt and you should enjoy writing them.
9. You are not going to like everything you receive but be gracious. Be the better person! I didn't love all the presents I received but I was still more than happy people made the effort to come to my wedding. To me that was far more important.
Love My Dress Wedding Blog – Laser cut greetings cards, available from Cutture…
10. Mention the gift and perhaps that you've used it. I was lucky enough to receive a group present of a stand mixer. I am a baker. So I told people I was so excited to bake them yumminess in the very near future. Corny but my friends already know to expect baked goods from me as presents! Yet the gift is not all you need to talk about. Say how much you loved that they made the effort to join you.
11. Don't over egg the pudding – be sincere. Otherwise it seems fake. So unless you are the over effusive type avoid all of those adjectives and superlatives!
12. If you invite 1000 people to your wedding do not moan that you now have to send them a thank you note. You chose the list so suck it up and just get on with it.
Finally, remember you can split the load. Unless there are compelling reasons your new spouse is unable to help they are your equal not your child.
Confused? Follow this bare bones guideline but remember to mix it up! Inject your personality, and you need not cement your choice of surname or Mr and Mrs decision at this point. I'm certainly still not decided…
* For those who mean more to you – obviously talk in more heartfelt terms. My parents are hardly emotional sorts but they still proudly display our thank you card. I love going to people's homes and seeing them out on a shelf still!
** For some close friends I wrote – I can't wait to see you so I can catch up on all the excitement I missed out on when I was monopolised by certain people and could have fun with you – I've heard a few tales of debauchery!)
*** Bigpolishlongnamewithanaddedextraname…
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What do you think? Do you think thank you notes are important or just another unnecessary burden in this day and age?
I look forward to my thank yous!! (TFIC!)
Anna
http://annaandtheringlondon.blogspot.com/
Annabel View all Annabel's articles
Founder of Love My Dress. Passionate Podcaster and Editor. Annabel lives in rural North Yorkshire with her husband and business partner Philip, their two daughters and menagerie of furry hounds. She loves photography, meditation, walking, being outdoors and star gazing. She is fierce when it comes to championing talent within the wedding industry and when she's not working on Love My Dress, she supports her husband Philip in the running of the family's sustainable flower farm and floral design business, Moonwind Flowers. In 2013, she became a published author.
