"……to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part…"
When my Husband proposed to me, in the car, on that wet and rainy day in December 2007, I had absolutely no idea how much my life would change from thereon.
I had no idea that through spending 15 months planning a wedding, that I would discover a passion for writing. I had no idea in researching all those wedding forums that I would end up making so many new connections with so many lovely people. And I had absolutely no idea that two years later, I would be sat here, working for myself, owner of a successful wedding blog and inspiring countless numbers of other Brides.
But most of all, I realise looking back now, that I had absolutely zero idea just how marriage would impact on my life.
I recall people asking 'so, how is it being a Wife then??', and I would reply 'no different! We're just the same, we're just married now!'. But I was wrong. From the moment I uttered my vows on Friday 20 March 2009, my world changed. I don't really think I realised any of this until these past few weeks, when things have gotten a little tough…
Love My Dress Wedding Blog – Photography Copyright (c) 2009, Karen McGowran
You see, I'm really a pretty regular kind of girl. I fall out with my Husband at times just like the rest of us do. In fact, it's been pretty challenging of late; I've barely stopped working since my beautiful little Leanora was born, prematurely, back in September. I lost my dear Grandma in March, and I recently became self-employed and am adjusting to the whole new set of daily pressures and demands that being your own boss working form home presents you. Did I mention that I've developed a bit of an incurable blogging dependency too? 😉 And then there are the usual daily pressures to meet in amidst the blood-shot, sleep deprived waking hours; the school run, cleaning, tidying, walking dogs, paying bills, 12 months of neglected business accounts to process, invoices, trying to be the best Mother, Wife, Friend, Daughter, Sister and of course, somewhere in between all that, Blogger! And for my life, I have TRIED, but I just cannot cook. I tell you, it's a concoction worthy of the most monumental marital bust-up – even for the most easy-going of us…!
I don't want to alarm you. All is good and well at Chez Love My Dress. But as my beautiful best boy and I progress through our 11th year together and as I reflect on over 2 years of marriage so far, I've come to realise just how very precious those vows I uttered 2 Years, 2 Months and 28 Days ago have come to be. I'm 36 years old and my marriage is still in it's infancy, but believe me, Phil and I have had our fair share of challenges to test the strength of our nuptials so far.
I meant every word I said back in March 2009 as I stared at my Husband, tears in his eyes, but I truly don't think I've come to realise the weight and meaning of my marriage vows or the strength of resolve they reflect in the relationship I have with my Husband, until very recently. Those vows I made serve as my moral, spiritual and marital health compass and remind me that my marriage and indeed our lives together will always be so much better, for stopping to contemplate the promises and commitment we made, for putting aside differences, disagreements, stress, grudges, misunderstandings, anger, frustration, upset and all the rest to focus on a more positive, peaceful way forward. They keep me on track when it all get's a bit much.
A way forward that can work no matter what life throws at you, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
I had no idea how much my life would change on getting married, but change it has, and in so many positive, deep, meaningful and almost indescribable ways. I value my marriage and those vows we exchanged two years ago more than I think I realise myself.
Brides – why don't you consider taking time to create some of your own personal vows to exchange on your wedding day? Those words you speak with your soon-to-be-Husband will be words you will reflect back on for a long time to come – they will represent the strength of union between you. Use the opportunity to write words that reflect how you truly feel for one another – and TELL each other! Never will there be a more perfect opportunity to show just how very much you love your own beautiful boy 🙂
I was going to blog a wedding this afternoon, but then something urged me to share something a little more personal. I hope that's OK with you 🙂
I also hope you are all having a lovely Friday and are looking forward to a lovely weekend, whatever you are up to :) We're all looking forward to family time and, hopefully, a little grown-up romance too 🙂
I'd love to get some feedback – what do marriage vows mean to you? Are you, or did you write your own special vows to share on your big day?
Much love,
Annabel xXx
♥
Annabel View all Annabel's articles
Founder of Love My Dress. Passionate Podcaster and Editor. Annabel lives in rural North Yorkshire with her husband and business partner Philip, their two daughters and menagerie of furry hounds. She loves photography, meditation, walking, being outdoors and star gazing. She is fierce when it comes to championing talent within the wedding industry and when she's not working on Love My Dress, she supports her husband Philip in the running of the family's sustainable flower farm and floral design business, Moonwind Flowers. In 2013, she became a published author.
This is simply beautiful writing and very well said.
That was a lovely post, a nice read for a Friday afternoon, we didnt do our own vows but its something I regret and would urge others to there own. x
Wow Annabel! What a beautifully tender and touching post. Now, in my 6th year of marriage to my husband, and with both of us self-employed and busy with our 3 girls, I can really empathise with what you are saying. Marriage is an utter joy and so precious but it is damned hard work at times and truly needs nurturing. Thanks for the jolt out of complacency. {Post it note to self – give husband an extra meaningful hug later and let him know I’m there for him}
PS
I love your personal blogs, one of the main reasons I follow, since I am an old married now!
Still like to see the beautiful weddings too x
Every word of your blog has rung true with me and my thoughts about my wedding and being married. Each day can have its challenges and remembering why you are with that one person can at time be tricky, but there is an underlying strength that is there in the relationship that wasnt before the partnership became a marriage. Hard to put into words but something that is undeniably there and I feel most strongly at times of true happiness or the during toughest of days.
Congratulations as you approach your third years anniversary, I will be celebrating three years married life in august and cant wait. xx
For someone who is so in love with words, I had massively underestimated how much of an impact actually saying our vows out loud would have on me.
I wish we had practiced before the day, just so that I would appreciate in advance what a colossal moment it would be. My husband spoke with such strength and emotion that when it came my turn I got quite choked up.
There is nothing more powerful than someone vowing to spend their life with you, love you no matter what and take care of you irrespective of the circumstances.
Tears! Very moving and inspiring Annabel. Thank you as alwyas xxx
A really beautiful, honest post – a reminder that it’s not just a wedding but a marriage and life, with all its wonders and challenges. Thank you! ax
What a beautiful blog post Annabel, it made me cry – in a good way! I am going to marry my love in 2 months time and your blog has been a constant source of inspiration to me.
Thank you so much for sharing such a beautifully moving post. As someone still in the wedding planning stage it is sometimes difficult to remeber and take a step back and think about the importance of the day not just the prettiness of it.
Thank you for inspiring me to think about writing my own vows it wasn’t something i had ever considered but i will now.
A beautiful post Annabel. I haev been married for 13 years now and my vows are still as important today. My husband & I have been through some tough moments that life threw at us but they made us stronger, together we are invincible.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend with your husband and children
xx
I’ve noticed over the last 3 or so years that, every time I shoot a wedding, I get more and more moved by the vows. In a way that I was never *quite* so moved when I said mine.
I think it’s because I know now, with 6 yrs of marriage and our fair share of problems behind us (and plenty more ahead!) that marriage is a HUGE leap of faith. Faith that when we promise to keep loving each other, we will do, we will work so very hard to keep that love alive, despite life sometimes doing its best to make us forget how lucky we are to find someone that wants to spend, that vows to spend, the rest of their lives with us.
It’s such a big deal, and it becomes only more so over time.
This was beautifully put Annabel, and from one old married to another, big hugs and kisses.
Simply beautifully written, you always know what to say and how to say it so well. I adore your blog, BIG fan! I’ve not got an invite to your soiree though. Gutted 🙁
Annabel how strange… I have for the past couple of days been thinking wedding vows, we get married in three weeks, and having decided on some very nice vows awhile ago I have become a bit unsure about them. They’re pretty generic, but not being one for over-sentimentality the idea of writing our own vows seemed a bit much.
But we want to include something about being parents, as we have a two year old son and hope to have more children one day. And now I’ve read your blog I want to write the whole thing now! But I get it I think. Getting married IS personal, and the vows you make to each other should mean everything as they’re your promises to each other and therefore the glue through tough times.
Thanks very much for such a heartfelt article…I best get writing! X
Beautiful Annabel. I have also been with my husband for 11 years and married for nearly 3. In so many ways I do not think marriage has changed us, we were very solid before and still are now, I still love him more everyday. But… the way it has changed us is that it has made us stronger. Life has been really tough in the last few years and our marriage has supported us through this. It has also made us strangely more independent and more into individuals, knowing that our marriage is such a huge part of our identities, we feel free to build on the other parts.
P.S. We don’t all fall in love with boys, please support your LGBT community as well x
Lizzie,
Thank you so very much for your beautiful comment and for pointing out that not everyone falls for boys!
Lots of love,
Annabel xXx
Beautiful post Annabel. Snuggle up tight with him this weekend x.
Beautiful, heartfelt post Annabel. Thank you for sharing :0) Me and my new husband have made it to 7 weeks of marriage. hehe. We had a Humanist ceremony and wrote our own vows, which made it so special as we were able to think about what was most important to us in our marriage. We had to complete ‘homework’ before the wedding answering questions that you would think would be easy but were quite challenging e.g. what do you love about each other? Sounds straightforward but it’s so easy to get lost in ‘I love you’ – 3 words that are very easy to say and the meaning can sometimes be ‘lost’. We know there’ll be challenges ahead and we wanted to be sure we recognised that in our vows too – marriage is not just a happy ending, it’s the START of the next chapter together. Here’s to keeping the love alive! :0)
This really touched a nerve, how brave of you to write this. So beautifully written too. Thanks for sharing x x
Love.
This is just so lovely, I am so inspired by you and think that you are such a graceful lady.
Thank you for sharing XxX
Lovely post and very true for all of us working mums who are trying to be wives, homemakers, mothers, career women, lovers, in short superwoman!! All they really want is us to be ourselves! 14 years down the line (only just short of 2 married and with a 1 year old) I love hubs more than life itself but am always too busy working, being mum etc to express it as much as I should. WEll done for bringing it to our attention. Now I should be sitting on the couch with him watching a film not on here!
Well said Annabel, marriage begins with such a wonderful fairytale day but I am utterly convinced that the adventure of each day, month and year together is where the real magic lives. I love that you’re a fan of commitment, even when it’s tough. It’s so good to be reminded of the vows we made and how investing in our marriages is important. Inspiring words lovely lady! x
Thank you so much for your heartfelt comments – and emails. Your words really have touched me 🙂
Hope you are all having a lovely weekend,
Annabel xXxXx
A beautifully heart felt piece, beautifully written. So many lose sight of the concept of marriage over the big wedding day. We will be starting our marriage in the midst of tough times and uncertainty of my future and I dread the sickness and health line of the vows but regardless, the vows will still be that compass no matter what is ahead for us as both individuals and a couple. Now it is just what to say in them! x
What lovely words, marriage has it’s ups and downs but we’re in it for the long haul. No man (or woman) is an island and life’s challenges are easier as two people. Thanks for sharing your personal thoughts xx