The best wedding photos are taken when you forget you’re being photographed. I’ve been a wedding photographer for over ten years and the longer I do this, the more certain I am that it’s true.
Somewhere along the way in recent years, weddings started to revolve around the photos. There used to be time for family formals and couples’ portraits – of course! But now, there are these expected, continuous content moments dotted throughout the day. Perfect faux ‘moments’ designed purely to happen with the camera in mind.
The trouble is, if the schedule becomes so tight that you’re constantly being pulled away, something important gets lost. Your precious wedding starts to feel like a series of tasks and things to tick off instead of a celebration.
The one day where every important thread in the tapestry of your life ends up in the same room: childhood besties, uni mates, parents, grandparents, cousins you haven’t seen in ten years – the people who helped shape who you are. That’s the real story of a wedding day. The joining together of two worlds and the love that surrounds them. The photos are just there to remember it.
Last wedding season, while chatting with planners and venue managers throughout the year, I heard more than a few horror stories. Guests left waiting outside in the cold for more than half an hour while couples got the content inside. Long stretches where everyone stood around wondering where the couple had disappeared to while the content took priority. Disappointed guests who had travelled a long way to be there – these are the very people who helped shape who the couple are. I’m not talking about family formals and couples’ portraits; I’m talking about extended, obscure mini-shoots purely for photo and video.
The strange thing is, when you saw the photos and videos afterwards, you’d never know. I’d seen these weddings on Instagram and I could not believe it was those that they were talking about. My incredibly talented colleagues had created something that looked epic.
Every scene looked like the best. party. ever. Huge energy. Enormous joy. The kind of wedding you wish you’d been at. But behind the scenes, I’m told the day wasn’t like that. The vibe and energy in the room told a very different story.
It makes me wonder: when did it become normal for the content to matter more than the people?
I’m not here to shame anyone for wanting a photo they’ve fallen in love with. If you’ve spent months planning your day and there’s a moment or an idea you’re excited about recreating, I am all in. I’m my couples’ biggest cheerleader and I will absolutely help make those images happen. There’s nothing wrong with that at all.
But I also believe in leaving space in the day. Space for the unexpected moments. Space for the conversations that run longer than planned. Space for the hugs, the laughter, the little pockets of time with your favourite people that you’ll look back on years from now with so. much. fondness.
Almost every couple that books with me has the same worry – they’re anxious about missing cocktail hour. Worried they’ll spend the whole day being pulled away from their guests for photos. I hear it all the time.
There’s no ‘my agenda’ and ‘your agenda’. It’s the same one: making sure you get to spend as much time as possible with the people you love most. The photos happen within that, not instead of it.
One wedding day. That’s it. No second attempts, just one day where all your people show up to celebrate you.
