There’s something very special about being invited back into a couple’s story, especially when that story has already been shared so generously on these pages. Ten years ago, I published Clare’s wedding to Jonny in the Lake District, alongside which she entrusted Love My Dress with some beautifully honest writing about closeness and intimacy during wedding planning. To hear from Clare again a decade later, asking if I’d share their vow renewal and sending such thoughtful words about their marriage and the life they’ve made together, has touched me deeply.
This time, there are three of them. Their little boy, Casper, joined them at Brothers Point on the Isle of Skye, the very place where they’d discovered they were expecting him. They’d first visited the island on their first wedding anniversary and later brought Casper for his first holiday, so it was already somewhere they had plenty of reasons to love. With Dan Appleby there to photograph them, they made their way out for a ceremony officiated by Humanist Celebrant Rona, that allowed Casper to join in, wander off and be four, while giving his parents time to read the letters they’d written for one another.
Clare’s written so thoughtfully about why they wanted to do this and how it felt to make promises after ten years of marriage, knowing each other as they do now and with a little boy to share their future. I’m grateful to her for sharing such a deeply intimate and personal occasion with us and for giving us the chance to follow the wedding we published all those years ago with something of the life that has followed.
Why We Wanted to Renew Our Vows
Jonny and I married at Low House Farm in Lorton, the Lake District in 2016. When we married, I always had in mind that we’d renew our vows on our 10 year anniversary. This was something my own parents had done and having been part of it, and grown up with it, it felt like the usual and ‘normal’ thing to do.
It was only has we got closer to our 10 year anniversary and I started mentioning the idea to friends that I realised how ‘unusual’ it was – how few people did it, and how many misconceptions there were. In many ways people assumed something must have been ‘broken’ that needed re-fixing or just couldn’t see why. I was actually so grateful for these views.
They were unexpected but then made me really dive down into understanding ‘why’ for me and us, rather than the more superficial understanding of it being something people just did.
Ten Years On, Making Promises as a Family
When we married, we were two people completely in love. We felt so ‘whole’ as a pair that the question of children was never concrete and was mostly unlikely.
We loved our life as a two. Five years later, we did decide to expand our lives and welcome our son. He’s by far the love of our lives and the something we never knew we were missing but parenthood has also been the biggest change, learning experience and joy.
Looking back, the two people who said their vows in 2016 are not the same people as now – on our wedding day, we didn’t even know the kind of future we were making promises about.
I also loved my big white wedding, but it was only afterwards, in hindsight, that I realised how little we’d needed for it to mean so much.
The most precious parts of our wedding day ten years ago, were saying our vows to each other, and waking up the day after feeling married, like family and totally different. So the renewal was less about repeating a wedding.
To us, it was all about making promises as new people with a new and combined future. It was about reflections and promises as a whole family, not just a two, and cutting out everything except the parts that had the deepest meaning.
Why We Chose The Isle of Skye
We chose Skye not just because it is stunningly beautiful but because it is such a special place to us. We first visited on our first wedding anniversary. It was also our son’s first holiday at 4 months old.
We actually chose to have our vow renewal standing in the place where we both first discovered we were expecting our son – at Brothers point. That ‘full-circle’ moment was so special.
We also love Skye because of it’s striking, stunning beauty. We’ve been on the island when there has been wall-to-wall blue skies, but spent most of our holidays there out-of-season in dark gloomy skies and winter storms. In my mind I was hoping for a gloomy, windy aesthetic even though we chose to renew on 24th May 2026 – as close to our 10 year anniversary as we could get.
It was touch and go in the end, the day before was nothing but sideways rain and on the day itself, almost all of the island was covered in thick low fog and rain – except for a small area around Brothers Point.
It had also lifted slightly as we left towards Sligachan. I had expected that we’d get some photos around the dramatic rocks of the Quiraing but there was no visibility. Our photographer, Dan, captured some of the most breathtaking photos despite the inclement weather and limited locations.
Having the right photographer really makes it and in the end, the blowy autumnal aesthetic was perfect for the Skye we know and love. The following day was windless with crystal clear skies!
A Rust-Red Dress and Something Warm
We stayed in an Air BnB and I did my own hair and makeup in the morning. I spent a while finding the ‘right’ outfit and wanted something floaty but not too dressy, formal, or white. In the end I found a rust-red shirt-dress from Aya Sacred Wear on Etsy (from Bali). It had a matching bodysuit and panels of super light cotton between panels of silk and pearl buttons everywhere! That meant you could bring the ‘see through’ parts as high up as you liked and choose the length of the split at the front, as well as synching at the waist and sleeve height.
It was a very cleverly designed dress and the wind whipped it beautifully. The belt and the beige jumper (bought years ago from Matalan) were unintentional – it was just much colder than expected. I styled it with low healed, grippy leather boots with gold accents from Pikolinos and thick Scandinavian wool socks.
Jonny wore collection of clothes he owned already (wine coloured chino’s, brown boots and a beige linen shirt with a green padded jacket when it was cold) and my little boy wore various items he owned already or we sourced from Vinted (beige chinos, brown leather trainers, a brown linen shirt and beige scandi style knit jumper with a navy padded jacket for the cold).
His matching rust-coloured bobble hat was another accidental addition we chucked in in the morning!
The day itself was so relaxing and laid back which was perfect, especially with a child.
We met Dan for a few photos at the Loch by Kilt Rock waterfall and then to coastal view point just past brothers water. We then had coffee and cake together at Columba 1400 at Staffin before meeting Rona, our celebrant at Brothers Point car park at 11am. Both Rona and Dan were incredible at being able to accommodate some flexibility and adjustments.
Skye is a wild and unpredictable place and this really helped for picking weather windows. The walk from the car park to Brothers point is just over a mile but boggy, rocky and involves crossing a stream. We took our time and really enjoyed getting to know Rona better during the walk. She had also kindly brought us dry robes and sweets for our son
Our Humanist Ceremony at Brothers Point
The ceremony itself was everything I could have hoped for. Rona is an exceptionally talented Humanist celebrant. The ceremony curated so many details about our lives and our story into the most reflective and emotional piece of storytelling.
Our son was interested, but he was also 4 years old. Everything felt flexible as both Rona and Dan entertained him when his attention waned, paused and re-started. There was no sense of urgency or sense that he was being ‘difficult’ – it all adapted and flowed.
Involving Casper in binding our hands together was so beautiful and hit on such a deep emotional level. I’d also got a new ring – a trio of olive quartz to represent the three of us which was also called ‘past present and future’ from Carrie Elizabeth – which he was able to give me.
Letters Just for Each Other
Instead of vows we chose to write a reflective letter to each other with hopes and re-affirmed commitment. Rona stepped back for this part of the ceremony to play with Casper leaving it truly as just the two of us – our words, no audience and only for the benefit of each other.
This was unexpected but such a symbolic and beautiful touch. We also gained a copy of our full ceremony so we can re-read this for years to come.
“So to that end, in 2016 I promised that even when my hands were old and wrinkly, they would still be reaching for yours. And so here they are. Ten years older, a decade softer, and reaching for yours with even more certainty.”
From Clare’s letter to Jonny
“Now we have Casper with us, our home remains full of life, joy and laughter and I love seeing you nurture and guide Casper as he grows. More than ever, I know that we do not complete but perfectly complement each other and with Casper we have the most wonderful addition to our family unit, fortifying it even more.”
From Jonny’s letter to Clare
An Evening Together and Time to Reflect
We ended out day with a few photos at Sligachan before returning to our AirBnB for a few hours and enjoying a relaxed dinner with a beautiful view at the wonderful Am Braigh.
All in all I couldn’t have wanted anything more from our day. Despite never having worked together before, our photographer and our celebrant worked seamlessly together and really took the time to understand us. I couldn’t recommend a vow renewal more, especially if you have children.
I expected it to feel special and yet it exceeded every emotional expectation that I had. Committing to life as a three felt different because “As Captain Corelli said on our wedding day it’s the kind of growth you get when roots intertwine quietly over time, without either of us noticing until we look back”.
