While I may have envisaged serenity and deep contemplation for my last moments as an unmarried woman, my son Jesse had other ideas.
I pretended I couldn’t hear the piercing screams emanating from his mouth as he flailed about on the floor. I did my best to concentrate on what the softly spoken, middle-aged woman opposite me was saying. Even in my dazed state I knew the questions she was asking were important.
My bridesmaids hurried about in their long, flowing dresses, tottering in towering heels and clutching their bouquets while desperately trying to calm my feisty toddler. I frowned, inwardly wondering why various relatives inside the ceremony room hadn’t done more to keep him entertained.
‘This is why people wait until AFTER they’re married to have children’ I thought. I may even have expressed this feeling out loud as one of our photographers led the way down the hallway towards the ceremony room…
Images from Franky's wedding. Below, her son Jesse…
Love My Dress Wedding Blog – Photography Copyright (c) 2012, Eliza Claire
Then, as quickly and inexplicably as my son’s tantrum had begun, it was over.
The music started up and the heavy oak doors of the ceremony room were flung open in anticipation. My little boy’s tears had been replaced with a playful look of curiosity. He grinned as he took in the scene before him. There were lots of smiling faces, some familiar, some less so. His Daddy was waiting patiently at the other end of the room.
The temptation to career down the aisle in front of such a captive audience became too much to resist. Jesse hurtled in ahead of the bridesmaids, his converse clad feet thundering along the polished floor as he let out an exuberant shriek of joy. ‘Daddyyyyyyyy!’ he cried.
Franky's Daughter Izzy…
Love My Dress Wedding Blog – Photography Copyright (c) 2012, Eliza Claire
A few paces behind, his elder sister trod delicately down the aisle. She gripped my own sister’s hand tightly as she took each carefully rehearsed step. The older bridesmaid was rushing, but Izzy’s every movement was weighted with importance. She stifled a grin before her face fell naturally into a look of perfect serene beauty.
Izzy was five and a half and Jesse had just turned one when Carl proposed. We were on a family holiday in Bali when he booked a babysitter and told me he was going to treat me to all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. Instead, he whisked me off for a candle-lit meal in the grounds of our hotel and proposed under the stars. I can vividly remember wanting to wake the children the moment we crept back into our hotel room that night, so desperate was I to tell them our news. From the very moment of its inception, the wedding was about the four of us.
Having children impacted greatly on the sort of wedding we had. For obvious reasons, our social circle overflows with people that share our tendency towards pro-creation. Our original guest list featured the names of around 25 children, with an age range that extended from mere months to the daunting precipice of the teenage years. Their entertainment and enjoyment was always a primary concern during the planning process.
We invested a great deal of money in an Artful Splodgers crèche so our younger guests wouldn’t have to sit through boring speeches or a lengthy wedding breakfast. In turn, we hoped their parents might be able to relax a little and enjoy the day free of the usual demands that go hand in hand with bringing a small child to such an event. I secretly hoped having the children eat in another room would reduce the risk of my son wiping his hands and face on the train of my dress!
I knew we wouldn’t have a peaceful ceremony. Our vows were never destined to be spoken before a silent crowd of onlookers. Jesse took up residence in a corner of the room that happened to feature a metal grate underfoot. He jumped on it wildly at various points during the proceedings, revelling in the great din it created. Children played in the aisle as readings were orated and one toddler settled herself on my lap for a few minutes while her Mother stood and spoke at the front of the room.
From here on, Images from Annabel's wedding. Below, her daughter Eska…
Love My Dress Wedding Blog – Photography Copyright (c) 2012, Karen McGowran
The formal photos were similarly chaotic. Even my enthusiastic daughter quickly tired of posing for the camera. Jesse simply refused to even entertain the notion. It took a loud rendition of ‘Old MacDonald had a Farm’ by all that had assembled outside on the terrace to produce the handful of photos that feature our son in all his wedding finery.
My first sweep of the bar after we came back into the warmth of Heatherden Hall was undertaken with a sleepy child firmly clamped to my hip. Jesse’s head rested on my shoulder and he fingered the feather trim of my coat as I chatted with guests and posed for photos, seamlessly blending the maternal with the bridal.
In the evening I danced with my daughter. It was just the two of us twirling and whirling on the dance floor. Carl stole a moment away from the commotion of the ballroom to walk Jesse round in the buggy until he drifted off. Later he had his moment on the dance floor with Izzy too, hoisting her up in the air and bouncing her along to the music.
This was our wedding, a family affair.
I can only write from the perspective of someone whose children were in attendance as I made my marriage vows. In fact, as motherhood was somewhat thrust upon me in the very early stages of courtship, I barely feel qualified to speak of what a relationship is without little ones in tow, let alone a wedding.
Moreover, what I offer here is but a small insight into what it is to marry after you’ve started a family. It doesn’t consider the issue of teenage offspring, or the question of step-children. It speaks purely of me and my babies.
I would love to add a little breadth to my observations through your own experience and thoughts on the matter…
♥ Will you, or did you, say your wedding vows in the presence of your {or indeed your partner’s} children?
♥ Do you think having a family of your own has shaped your wedding day in any way?
♥ What meaning do you think the day holds for your children?
♥ Have you ever been a guest at a child-centric wedding? How did it differ from other weddings you’ve been to?
♥ Care to share any advice on planning and executing a wedding with children in tow?
Franky x
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Franky is the Love My Dress Intern. You can read all her blog features here. Franky is also an employee at Love My Dress {yes, paid and everything!} and heads up all admin and customer service/support queries – please don't hesitate to drop Franky a line if you would be interested in becoming a sponsor or learning more about how you can get involved. ***
