How’s the wedding planning going? There is a phrase on the lips of anyone I meet up with, whom I haven’t seen or a little while, at the moment. After the “how are you?” is out of the way, they cut straight to the chase, and with an excited look in their eye they ask, “So…. how’s the wedding planning going?” Their interest is well-intentioned but I’ve come to feel increasingly guilty at inflicting disappointment on people when I offer up a half-hearted; “Well, we haven’t really done anything since we last spoke…”
Image sources clockwise from top left: Wedding hair, Flowers, Mason jars, Pastel bridesmaids
We have been engaged for six months now, and get married in ten. We ticked off the big ticket items within weeks of getting engaged – the venue, the photographer (which was the most important element for me – a child who did not dream of dresses but was instead enthralled by Daddy’s darkroom), and last month, the caterers. The rest feels like the smaller details to me and will be tackled over the coming months. All we have decided for the wedding is that we want it to be very ‘us’ – I want it to be full of things that we like, and things that reflect our personalities, with nothing included because we ‘think we have to’ or because ‘it’s what people do’. Maybe I’m being naïve, but I feel strongly that at the heart of our day there should be a clear sense of ‘Tom and Rosie’ – a room that you would walk into and know that it was our marriage being celebrated.
When we arrived home after getting engaged, one of the first things we did was write out a huge list of things we’d love to have as part of our day. Living in the New Forest, we liked the idea of a rustic, woodland theme, with wildflowers, long wooden tables, jam jars and lanterns. We also wanted to get married in the Autumn as it’s our favourite time of year in the forest, however September/October of this year we felt might be too soon to get everything booked and save up enough money, and Autumn 2015 seemed too far away. In the end we settled for the Spring, and I’m happy now that we made that decision – I love the symbolism of Spring, of birth, growth and new beginnings, and Spring flowers like lilac, iris, tulips, peonies and rock roses will be a beautiful addition to bouquets or arrangements.
Image sources clockwise from top left: Wedding dress inspiration, Dessert table, Table centrepieces
In keeping with the rustic theme, we like the idea of higgledy piggledy arrangements – pastel bottles and jam jars with hessian labels, stripey straws, paper lanterns, fairy lights and driftwood. I know it all sounds a little bit ‘Pinterest’, but that’s the sort of things we have in our home, and I want our personalities and styles to be eminent throughout our day. We didn’t want a really formal sit-down dinner (I can’t get my head around the term wedding breakfast so I’m consciously avoiding it!) so we’ve decided to have a big barbecue with lots of different meats, yummy salads and breads. We hope that the dinner (lunch? linner? dunch?) will be really informal with lots of people chatting and digging into delicious food. We’re cheekily asking some friends and family to contribute to a sort of ‘bake-off’ dessert table by cooking their favourite cake or pudding, though we will also be getting a tower of cupcakes as a ‘wedding cake’.
I know that I haven’t mentioned the dress yet, I’m such a rubbish girl, right? My idea for the dress is that I’d like it to echo the sort of styles I regularly wear (I never understand when brides pick a dress they would never ever normally wear, wear their hair differently and do completely different style of make-up – I kind of just want to look like ‘me’ on my wedding day!) and so I’d really like a tea-length dress, almost a 50s, skater dress style. I have an appointment with my Mum in London next week to see some similar style dresses – there is one I have my eye on but I’ve got to keep some things secret, right? Tom will probably just wear a white shirt, chinos and some Converse; same with the Best Man and his Ushers. We want them all to be comfortable and quite casual. I only have two bridesmaids but I’m thinking of a similar style dress to me, maybe in pastel shades – what do you think?
Image sources clockwise from top left: Table keys, Wearing Converse, Paper Lanterns, Table centrepieces, Wedding barbecue
So what else? I think the only think I haven’t mentioned is that above anything we want the day to be fun – people stuffing their faces with burgers, drinking champagne out of jam jars, dancing to folk music (and a heavy dose of 90s pop) and eating pasties (that’s what we’ve got lined up as an evening snack in a nod to my Cornish heritage!). I can’t imagine a more perfect way to celebrate marrying the love of my life.
Rosie x
Rosie is a member of our team of blogging brides, aka, ‘The Lovettes’ and writes her own beautiful blog over at ‘A Rosie Outlook‘
Annabel View all Annabel's articles
Founder of Love My Dress. Passionate Podcaster and Editor. Annabel lives in rural North Yorkshire with her husband and business partner Philip, their two daughters and menagerie of furry hounds. She loves photography, meditation, walking, being outdoors and star gazing. She is fierce when it comes to championing talent within the wedding industry and when she's not working on Love My Dress, she supports her husband Philip in the running of the family's sustainable flower farm and floral design business, Moonwind Flowers. In 2013, she became a published author.
Sounds like a really fun wedding! 🙂 Go to our blog for wedding tips and pictures
I love your plans! It’s similar to what we wanted originally but have ended up with something
completely different.
We’re getting married in August and the only thing I’ll say as a
word of advice is to stay in the bubble of your ideas if that makes sense? What
I mean is try to write all your ideas down so that you can revisit them over
the coming months. I’ve tried to stay away from too many wedding fairs because
I knew what I wanted and I didn’t want my ideas to become too convoluted or
watered down. Saying that, I didn’t stick to the plans and ended up listening
to all the negativity around me about how our ideas were not ‘the way things
are done’ and that people were not going to enjoy themselves. I ended up
getting enormously stressed because I felt pulled in two directions. I’ve now
moved back to the way I want things, ended up pulling away from the ‘top table’
way things are done because I can’t stand people watching me eat and I’ve
decided that I won’t be listening to all the negativity and we are doing things
our way now. I feel a lot more excited about it now and I’m actually looking
forward to the wedding again. Not sure if any of this makes sense. What I’m
trying to say above all is to stay true to yourself and make sure you plan the
day to be what the two of you want because the day is about celebrating your
marriage and it’s so important to make sure you enjoy it….
I’m getting married in August and feel exactly the same way. If your idea isn’t the norm people will very quickly point out why it won’t work or will be difficult/expensive/rubbish. Just remember it’s about the two of you enjoying what will be a very special day together. Do what you want and don’t listen to opinions unless you ask for them!
Hi Rosie,
I loved this update from you today! You made me giggle with you ‘all sounds a little bit ‘Pinterest’’ – who cares?! I love the idea of cute higgledy piggledy arrangements, bits and bobs here and there that represent a little bit of who you are and what you both love.
I too utterly loathed the term ‘wedding breakfast’ and abandoned the notion of a ‘top table’ the moment I started planning. It was everyone on round tables for me – had I had the idea back then, I’d have put all the tables together and had one big table!
A bake-off is always a fab idea as it gives a little bit of responsibility to friends and family who will love feeling like they are a part of the organisation of your day.
All in all your day sounds PERFECT to me and I’m genuinely excited about watching the plans come together and eventually sharing your day with our readers.
Annabel xxx
Hello Rosie ~ what a lovely post! I completely agree with you re ‘How’s the wedding planning?’, like you I always feel a bit guilty when I tell people I haven’t done anything more since we last spoke…their responses sometimes make me feel like a lazy bride to be (which I swear I’m not!). Like you we got the venue, photographer and our plane tickets within weeks of setting a date, but since then we just chilled out about it all with the knowledge that everything will get done – even if we’re about 10 steps behind where we’re supposed to be according to most bridal magazine’s Check List, ahem.
However, after months of not really doing anything towards the W-Plans, this weekend we finally had a flurry of sorting our caterers, save the dates and invites; and it’s been absolutely brilliant for both Tim and I! I know that for some people getting married is their world for the entire count down to the Big Day, and that’s fine if that’s ‘them’ – but I really hope you can start feeling less guilty soon and can just enjoy the planning as and when it happens; you’ll definitely have a better ‘Rosie and Tom’ wedding for it!
Madeleine xx
Ps. Love the idea of your bridesmaids in a similar style dress as you in pastel colours, it sounds swoony!