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How To Plan A Wedding: the pressure of having ‘the perfect day’

Well hello 2018 and an even bigger hello fellow Love My Dress readers!  I hope you had the most amazing festive break and that you took some time off from your wedding preparations in order to celebrate with your nearest and dearest.

If, on the other hand, you’re new to Love My Dress, it’s wonderful to finally meet you!  You’ll find me here every couple of months dishing out some wedding planning truths and tackling some rather meaty and at times slightly delicate topics, including today’s feature – the pressure of having the perfect wedding. Jumping straight in, I’m going to start with a little myth-busting…

There is no such thing as the perfect wedding!

There, I’ve said it – when it comes to weddings, a definition of perfection doesn’t exist.  After all, how can there be one definition of ‘perfect’ when we all have such different styles, budgets and even expectations for our wedding day.  What one couple would love, another wouldn’t choose so who’s to say that one type of wedding is better than another?  Absolutely no one.

Images by Hannah Duffy Photography (full shoot here)

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So, following on from that, how can we decide what’s perfect and actually, why would we want to?  The joy of modern day weddings is that you can absolutely create the day that you want to suit you as a couple.  We’ve finally ditched the notion that a wedding needs to follow a prescribed style so why are we now trying to force ourselves back into a little box to meet that vision of perfection?

However, whilst I don’t believe in the concept of ‘the perfect day’, I can completely understand why there’s pressure to create just that.  And it’s this pressure that’s the real issue.

So, let’s start by looking at where all this pressure is coming from.

Firstly, there’s the increase in visibility of celebrity weddings and the medias obsession and over-analysis of everything from the cost of the dress, to the brilliance of the venue, the indulgent (and expensive) menu to the finest of details.  It’s tough to constantly see these weddings, especially when you’re re-working your budget for the umpteenth time, and it’s even tougher to not be affected by them.

Then of course there’s magazines, blogs and especially social media.  Wherever you look (and you’ll definitely be looking because you’re planning a wedding!), you’ll see endless images of other couples’ big days and you’ll indulge in their stories.

It’s therefore completely understandable why you may fall into the trap of thinking that just because another couple had something that you need it as well and that without it your day won’t be perfect.  That’s not the case and deep down, you know it too but when you’re seeing all these things everywhere you turn, it can be extremely tough to keep your perspective.

Finally, and most significantly, there’s the pressure that we put upon ourselves and this is by far the hardest thing to manage.  It’s totally natural to want your wedding day to be fabulous.  It’s a hugely significant moment in your lives and you’ve probably been thinking about it and imagining how wonderful the day will be long before you got engaged.  Build in the thought that you ‘only get this day once’ and add on top of that the pressure of having your wedding after some of your friends’ weddings and things ramp up a pressure gear.

And don’t even get me started on the weight of expectations from your family because well, you probably know all about this already.

With all that in mind, it’s no wonder that the pressure to have ‘the perfect day’ can be almost overwhelming.

But STOP.  Just as I’ve told you that the perfect wedding doesn’t exist, I’m also going to tell you that this pressure doesn’t need to weigh you down or suck the enjoyment out of wedding planning either.  You are in control of your wedding in more ways than one.

If the everything’s are getting too much for you, then I’m here to help you change that with some simple strategies for saying goodbye to the pressures, stress and tension that trying to achieve the impossible can bring.

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So, there we have it.  The pressure of having the perfect day can most certainly be reduced or even ditched altogether if you don’t fall into the trap of trying to create perfection.  By being a bit more laid back, a bit more realistic and a whole lot more loved up, you’ll be just fine, and you’ll love your wedding day even more.

Love Kat x

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