Last week, sat in a hotel room one Thursday evening as I rested after my latest London adventure, I found myself reading through one of my own blog posts, this one to be precise, big salty tears gently rolling down my cheek and tumbling softly down in to my lap. It wasn’t just the photographs that had particularly moved me (I had made a special effort to include as many beautiful heart felt and ’emotional’ photographs as I could, having read this inspirational feature the previous day). It was more the words I was reading that were having an impact this time.
The couple, Gabriel and Will, seem to have chosen the most touching words to be read a their Humanist wedding ceremony…
We chose four very different readings to reflect the different elements of relationships and marriage. The first focuses on the
passion and ecstasy of love, the second on the comfort and security love brings, the third on the fluidity of love and relationships and the fourth on companionship. We spent a long time choosing these readings and so many of the guests commented on how lovely they were. (from the real wedding feature of Gabriel & Will)
The readings really touched something inside and made a deep connection with me. I was feeling particularly sorry for myself at the time, having been away from love and comfort blanket of my own home since Tuesday morning and not due back until late the next day – and as I sat and reflected how much I missed my family, these words made my heart swell with love and a deep desire to be close to my husband.
Photography by Karen McGowran of my wedding day
This got me thinking. Readings have the opportunity of playing such an important role on your wedding day. They can cut through all the fabulous decorations and styling you have gone to the effort to make your day look fabulous and help to focus you, and your guests, as to the reason why you are all congregated in the room at that moment in time. And more than just a collection of words that speak about the joy of marriage, they can also provide you with a better understanding of how marriage gives purpose and reason to work through the challenging times that life will throw at you.
I recalled the readings we had on our own wedding day, and was keen to share these with my readers and initiate some discussion for those looking at choosing their own wedding day readings.
We had three readings on our wedding day on Friday 20th March 2009 – the first day of Spring that year. The first was read by my dear Godmother, Val. We chose it because it because to us, it helped us focus on what the act of marriage was all about – putting aside all the beautiful decor and pretty things we made together, this helped to keep me grounded;
Marriage Joins Two People in the Circle of It’s Love – by Edmund O’Neill
Marriage is a commitment to life, the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal. It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.
Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life’s most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child.
Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.
When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfil.
As she neared the end of her reading, I could sense Val was struggling to hold back her emotion. I looked towards her and mouthed “Thank You”. I could not have imagined a more perfect person to deliver these words, Val being in such a loving marriage herself, after many years, to her husband, Dave. I hold nothing but the fondest of memories of all the many occasions our families have spent time together.
Our second reading was delivered by my Husband’s Mum, Jan. It was more of a story than anything, one that reflected our love for the area we chose to marry in, which is steeped in it’s own romantic history…
“Those of you that know Philip and Annabel well, will know that they share a deep love of Whitby and the surrounding area. One of their favourite places to spend time relaxing, is a small village just a few miles inland from the coast, called Egton Bridge. Egton Bridge has been described as a rural paradise – a veritable Garden of Eden, a sylvan retreat, both tranquil and sublime. Perhaps this is because the beautiful river Esk – that so inspired Philip and Annabel in naming their daughter Eska, runs through this peaceful village – making it one of the prettiest spots in the whole of Eskdale.
Following the river from Egton Bridge to the neighbouring village of Glaisdale will bring you to a romantic spot, near ‘Beggars Bridge’. Beggars Bridge was built by Thomas Ferris, an Egton Bridge man, in 1619. Ferris was a poor man who hoped to wed the daughter of a wealthy local squire. In order to win her hand, he planned to set sail from Whitby to make his fortune. On the night that he left, the river Esk was swollen with rainfall and he was unable to make a last visit to his intended. He eventually returned from his travels a rich man and, after marrying the squire’s daughter, built Beggar’s Bridge so that no other lovers would be separated as they were. This story is prettily told in the following verses…”
You may roam for hours ‘mid sweet spring flowers,
With a gurgling beck beneath,
While the rustling breeze just parts the trees,
And reveals the sweet of the wild woods deep, Shut in the darkling heath.
You may hear the note of the blackbird float From the top of each tall ash tree,
When he pours his song each evening long;
For in true love tales such romantic dales Must needs abundant be.
The dalesmen say that their light archway
Is due to an Egton man
Whose love was tried by a whelming tide;
I heard this tale in its native vale
And thus the legend ran.
The Lovers Vow
I go to seek my fortune, love,
In a far, far distant land;
And without thy parting blessing, love,
I am forced to quit the strand
But over Arncliffe’s brow, my love,
I see thy twinkling light;
And when deeper waters part us, love,
‘Twill be my beacon bright
If fortune ever favour me,
Saint Hilda, hear I vow!
No lover again in my native plain
Shall be thwarted as I am now!
One day, I’ll come to claim my bride,
As a worthy and wealthy man!
And my well-earned gold shall raise a bridge
Across a torrent’s span.”
I later found out that Jan had been a shaky collection of nerves in the minutes prior to her speach. What a brave lady – I am not sure I could have delivered such a personal and wonderful reading in the same, confident way that she did, right from the heart, in front of all her friends and family.
The third and final reading we had delivered during our wedding ceremony was done so via a friend of ours. In contrast to the previous piece, it was short and sweet and reflected the day we chose to get married – the first day of spring – a symbolic act done so to represent a fresh start and new beginning in our lives.
I recall Scott approaching the front of the room – a man with a presence larger than life itself, yet I could sense his nerves as me moved past me to turn and address us all. Scott looked at us both, took a gentle breath in, and began…
Today is Spring Equinox – the very first day of Spring. It is not by chance that Philip and Annabel chose today to celebrate their coming together in marriage and the start of a new chapter in their life.
In Spring time, all of nature comes alive; the flowers of the plants breathing sweetly, give life and hope to a new beginning. Nature is stable and orderly and each Spring, the spirit of love returns, like the plants and leaves.
The power of the garden to inspire love, is expressed in this poem that was inscribed by an Egyptian Girl on a papyrus many years ago;
I belong to you, like this plot of land,
that I planted with flowers
and sweet smelling herbs.
Sweet in it’s stream,
shy by your hand,
refreshing in the North Wind.
A lovely place to wonder in,
Your hand in my hand.
As I recount all these words being read on our special day, I can feel those familiar salt spillages welling up in my eyes again! They mean so much to me – and I think at this time of year, as our anniversary approaches, they seem to have even more of an impact.
Have you chosen your wedding readings yet? Of if you’re already ensconsed in a life of wedded wonderment, what readings did you have on your wedding day, and why? There are a million websites available to help you find popular wedding readings (just Google!), but what about thinking beyond the screen and diving in to your book collection, or researching some poetry or using extracts from your favourite books or films or literature? I think there’s something wonderful about a couple making time to find readings that really deeply mean something to them, that were discovered together and very much reflect their attitudes and understanding of what the act of marriage means to them.
Finally, I thought I’d re-share one of my favourite readings from the real wedding feature that inspired this post. Because I’m feeling in a romantic mood…
What I Have Lived For’ by Bertrand Russell
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy – ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness – that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what – at last – I have found.
Get’s me every time. You know, it’s OK to cry on your wedding day, and before, and after 🙂
I’d love to hear your thoughts on wedding ceremony readings. What were/are yours going to be and why? Where did/are you looking for inspiration?
Have a lovely afternoon everyone,
Annabel
