As part of my Laid Bare themed week, I have invited one or two of my industry friends to write guest posts for me on the issue of body image. I’m delighted this morning to be sharing a feature written by Anna Kasparian, one third of the blogging wonder-trio that is Any Other Woman.
I’ll not deny that being the Mother of two little girls, reading through this post had me shed a tear or two, and I’d very much like to know your thoughts too, so please take a moment to leave a comment at the end…
Happy Birthday! Being ten is brilliant! No, really, it is. It means you’re growing up, but that you can still get away with an awful lot of stuff. Now go. Eat cake. Play with your friends. Have some adventures.
And then read this.
Image Source – Social Unconditioning
I know school and homework and your parents’ nagging can feel rubbish at times. But you’re lucky, you know? You have choices and chances of which your grandmother, her grandmother, even your mother could never have dreamed. You can go to University. You can work in any profession you choose. You can love who you want, say what you want, be whoever you want to be.
The world is at your feet. Your choices are your own, and no-one can take them from you. You can live freely, fully, and without shame. You can be you, unashamedly you. Nothing should stop you feeling like you can conquer the world.
Except one thing probably will.
Here’s the hard bit, kid. There’s a whole industry out there hell bent on making you feel like you aren’t quite enough. It thrives on cutting you down, on holding you back, on making you thinner, smarter, prettier. It will take hold of you, get into your blood and under your skin, and chip away at your sense of self. It’ll start slow. It’ll ramp it up so much that you will wonder whether what you have to offer the world is enough.
Two words. It is.
Image Source – Social Unconditioning
This industry is all pervading. It reaches into every corner of your psyche. There’s no escape. You can’t hide. You’ll be force-fed stories about how you should be, how you should feel, how you should look. On billboards and in films and on the television and in magazines you’ll see pictures of women with impossible bodies and perfect faces, living out perfect lives. You will look at those women and you will think “why not me?” You will look in the mirror and learn not to see your beauty but how to focus on your flaws. You will hate your hips, which are wider than other girls’. You will hate your stomach for not being as flat. You will hate your face for not being as beautiful. You will live by the word “should”. You will learn to measure yourself by what you could be, rather than what you are.
Shocking Shoot? Or an innocent play on little girls dressing up?
Ten year old Thylane Loubry Blondeau models for French Vogue. Image Source.
But here’s the good news. You’re better than that. It’s up to you to change it. And you can.
The perfect women out there? They aren’t real. It’s an image, a fairy tale, a story fed to you to make you buy more makeup, more clothes, anything to disguise who you really are.
What’s real is you.
Fighting the beauty myth and winning isn’t something you can do alone. You know those friends you have, the ones who truly make you laugh and accept you as you really are? They’re sane, good, smart friends. Keep them. Nurture that friendship. Find more like them. As you get older, you’ll learn that real beauty has little to do with a killer body and lustrous hair and everything to do with kindness and integrity and self worth. When it gets tough, and it will, those are the friends that will remind you how to be you without apology or explanation.
Image Source – Social Unconditioning
One day, when your big love story plays out, you might meet someone who helps you to embrace your imperfections and use them to make you stronger. But don’t even think about looking for that until you feel beautiful, in and of yourself. Otherwise, trust me, it’ll be a train-wreck of a relationship.
Image Source – Social Unconditioning
Growing up is exhausting. You’ll make mistakes, and that’s okay. But don’t let that mistake be wasting your time worrying about how you look, or how to fit in. Because when you’re there, thin enough, attractive enough, you still won’t be happy and you’ll still want to change. Growing up is hard enough without chasing that impossible ideal.
Spend your time dreaming, adventuring, exploring, learning. You’ll become a hell of a grown-up, one that everyone loves, one that is really beautiful
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What a thought provoking and beautifully written piece – thank you Anna. Please take a moment to visit the wonderful Any Other Woman wedding blog today when you have a few spare moments where you can read more from Anna and her co-bloggers Claire and Aisling.
Ladies, please discuss.
Annabel x
