As the final instalment of my 'laid bare' themed week on Love My Dress, I have invited blogger Anna to contribute a piece related to body image.
Anna, who has been writing her blog 'Anna & The Ring' for a few years now launched a brand new blog this week, 'Far From The Wedding Crowd, which I'd like to encourage you all to visit. In the meantime, Anna muses over how our own perceptions of ourselves differs from the perceptions of those who love us.
The images in this feature of of Anna on her wedding day…
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When Annabel asked me to write a piece for this week I wasn't really sure what I could say.
Actually, I knew what I wanted to write but I feared it would not be that empowering for I am certainly not at one with my own body…
Love My Dress Wedding Blog – Photography Copyright (c) 2010, Emma Case
So how does one begin to think about empowerment when you feel so unattractive? When there are no miracle cures, nor the vaguest whispers of hope. (Well, save a lot of hard work, which can only ever be over many months or even years).
I know how exhausting it is to judge myself so harshly but I never really think of how I affect those dearest to me. Yet the person closest to me, my husband Bean, fell in love with me despite not looking like Giselle Bündchen, or even like my best friend. Suddenly I hit upon a deliciously daring idea: perhaps I should try and view myself through Bean's (albeit slightly rose-tinted) glasses?
I know that this is not an easy thing to do. I am a woman who sees the negative in everything and swats away any compliment with ease, believe me I understand your hesitations. But just stop for one moment, Yes, right now. Close your eyes and breathe in. As you slowly breathe out ask yourself "What does your love see?" I know Bean doesn't see my scars, my stretch marks or my extra "layers" in the same way as I do. He looks into my eyes and smiles.
Even in my bleakest hour Bean still sees the beauty in me. Even when I was bright yellow and confined to a hospital bed by drips and wires, he told me that the yellow looked good on me and cuddled me close. He continues to look at me every day, when I continue to avoid looking at myself in a mirror.
We all have our own personal hang ups and by drawing attention to them, our loved ones cannot fail to see them. Yet they still look. They still love. Bean continues to smile when he sees me.
I am not the behemoth I envision when I try to avoid having my photograph taken. I am most definitely not the next Catherine Zeta-Jones and perhaps that's actually okay. Yes, yes, yes. It is not all about looks but there is always a level of physical attraction between lovers and we should honour that. When you feel at your lowest, remember the one you love is still with you and you alone.
Finally I am able to see myself through the eyes of the person who is most precious to me and that feels so very good. Not that I would say having an external locus for one's self esteem is ideal but if it is the little spark to make a slightly less harsh critic of yourself, then I am all for it.
What do you think? What do you see when you close your eyes and breathe out?
Anna ~ Far From The Wedding Crowd
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