"I am ready for my close up…
…even if I have two mosquito bites on my face!"
When my wonderful husband to be proposed to me back in August, 2010, I was overjoyed. I had wanted him to propose for the whole of the year previous to this and had many moments thinking it would never happen. Secretly, I stored ridiculously organised files on my laptop, filling these with images, poetry etc, from the many websites and blogs I had scoured the internet for- creating my perfect ‘dream wedding’. This was until I realised I had to simply wait until the magic moment; after all it was his moment, and his time to shine. And he did! The timing was perfect: sunset, on holiday in Spain, lovely music, fine food and wine. In fact, it was much better than I ever thought it would be. The feeling of happiness was an amazing thing, which I can still recall now.
After being together for six years already, we knew each other pretty well and had decided it would be a reasonably small affair, with close friends and family during the day and extra guests to fill the dance floor in the evening. So after the Christmas of that year we went out and did the usual, picked our venue, a chic, vintage country garden house, with enough rooms for our guests to fill, meaning no strangers lurking around, drinking our champers and eating the buffet.
We spoke with our parents about how they could help us finically and selected our nearest and dearest, who would take part as bridesmaids and groomsmen. In fact the whole lead up to the big day has been great and in a way, pretty easy. In the two years we have given ourselves to plan and prepare, we have had enough time to take the ‘lead up to the day’ in our stride. Also, it gave me time to do the usual bridal preparations, like growing out my hair and planning everything to the last minute detail. And now…well, all is ready to rock and roll.
However, the lead up to the day in the last weeks has changed my view on weddings and the planning process altogether; several of my plans did not work out….
Image Source, Pinterest
Firstly, the weight loss I had planned for hasn’t happened. I aimed for two stone and my body decided one would be enough and stuck with that! I think that after the wedding we might see eye to eye: typical. Secondly, with the Olympics nearing the passport industry has been under a lot of strain and unfortunately my bridesmaid couldn’t join me and the girls for a trip to the land of chocolate- Bruges. Even though I had a wonderful time, I did miss her and wish she had been a part of this memory. To add to the recent change of plans two parts have not worked out.
In the process of planning the wedding, I have in fact won two competitions! I knew they were too good to be true, and really I’m not that much of a lucky person. I won a handmade headpiece, by designer Kat Swank (who is sooooo nice); second thing was I won a ‘Film Your Day’ video package. Unfortunately, Kat and I had crossed wires and didn’t have the right date booked in, no hard feelings there. However, the ‘Film Your Day’ company didn’t contact me after the initial: YOU HAVE WON and we will use your name on our website, so our company look really good, generous and great! This is the detail I am most upset about, as unfortunately I have not saved the money, or left enough time to book a videographer, after being let down, and therefore we won’t get the filming we want.
Now the days have drifted past, and the intital ‘I must have everything planned to the highest standard possible to man’ has passed; the week of the wedding has arrived! My nerves and energy have got the better of me. Not only have I tired of the wedding planning, I have exhausted myself with juggling that and working hard in my day job: teacher. These past days I have been tired, lethargic and found it very difficult to summon the energy to get to the gym for huge work outs. In fact, I am finding it pretty difficult to even pack my bags for the most amazing honeymoon- two weeks travelling around the hot spot, romantic locations in Italy.
As I sit here writing this, whatever this is, all I can think is – the planning and preparations seem, in all honesty, ridiculous.
…If it wasn’t for my husband (to be), friends and family, cheering me on, supporting me and encouraging me, I think I might have easily caught the next train to take myself away for a little while. Is it the nerves which made me feel like this? Or, is it the sheer strain I have put on myself to create the ‘perfect day’? Have I been my own worst nightmare? Have I become the Bridezilla I swore I wouldn’t?
So with: three days to go; two mosquito bites on my face; broken nails; one stone heavier than I first anticipated; a house which is literally suffocating me with holiday packing everywhere; no head piece to wear in my hair or any idea how I will wear my hair, I have decided to give up on wedding planning and keep remembering why it’s all happening…
In August 2004 I realised I had met a very special man. I didn’t know why I felt this way, but I followed my heart, I adored every part of him and knew (as Phoebe says in F.R.I.E.N.D.S.) he is my lobster. On the 2nd August 2012, my best friend, my soul mate, my love will become my husband. I am so thankful I have found him, kept him and that we have almost made it through the bitter-sweet wedding planning days.
So, to all the brides to be out there: please, please, please let your friends and family help as much as possible; remember that it really is one day and one night to plan for; plan well in advance and remember to laugh at yourself when everything gets too much and things don’t go the way you expect.
Roll on Christmas!
Jo
We'd love to hear back from you lovely readers;
Have you experienced a similar wedding planning experience to Jo?
Have you been let down last minute by any suppliers and how have you dealt with this?
Have pre-wedding day nerves kicked in and sent you spinning into stress or are you taking it all in your stride?
Are we all just way too hard on ourselves when it comes to planning our wedding?
All 'last minute' stress management tips welcome! 😉
