One Year On ~ A Beginners Guide to Marriage…

The 14th of January marked one whole year since my wedding day. It's the strangest thing, looking back on it all. It feels like a lifetime ago and only yesterday, all at once. There's definitely something about your wedding day that makes it seem almost like a dream.

But back to reality you must go. Life after wedding. The confetti has settled, all
the cake has been eaten and you've deleted your precious planning
spreadsheets. What next?

One year on, a beginners guide to marriage

Print design by Lucy Says I Do, whose wedding featured on Love My Dress here and who writes her own blog too

Here are just a few observations from my first year of marriage…

1. Post-wedding blues are an actual real thing.

2. You don't have to stop reading wedding blogs. Thank goodness.

3. Referring to your fella as 'my husband' never gets old. Well, it hasn't yet anyway. 'Have you met my husband, he does very husbandy things. Husband! Do come here and say hello. Oh there you are husband. Husband, husband, husband.'

People start asking about babies almost immediately. Even if you've
already popped a couple out before saying 'I do'. Luckily, I can make a
witty retort about the Mister going for the snip, but I'm aware the
childless among you probably can't adopt this line of defence.

5. The first fight as husband and wife smarts a little. Try to avoid screaming things like 'I want a divorce' if you can. 

6. Dry cleaning your wedding dress will always be something you can do
next week. Perhaps you're more attached to the dirt on the train than
you realise?

7. Changing your name {if indeed you decide to
do so} is a long and arduous task. I still can't spell my new moniker
either. And letters addressed to Mr & Mrs. Carl Shanahan? What is
THAT about? My name is F R A N K Y.

8. 80% of your wedding will probably still be stored under you bed 12
months later. I've got candle holders, table cloths, doileys, unworn
welly boots, a table plan and a vintage suitcase full of various
mementos. I am an episode of 'Hoarders' waiting to happen.

The true value of your wedding photos only reveals itself months after
the event. On a particularly bad day, there they are, ready to transport
you back to a time when nothing else mattered but love and family and
friends. They remind you that you were beautiful, your parents never
stopped smiling, your grandmother bought a new hat especially, and Uncle Anthony was amazing on the dance floor. You may think you've
committed it all to memory anyway, but you still see something new every
time you look at them.

10. Your vows are so much more than words.
They are action, thought and deed. They are a foundation. They are there
to guide you when you're close to losing your way. Repeat them over and over whenever you need to. I do.

The morning after we wed, I found myself packed tightly into the back of my Mum's car, heading back to Devon with my husband and our two children. My daughter Isabel and I were entwined on the back seat, her head resting on my shoulder and our legs brushing against each other. Naturally, vomit was the worst thing that could possibly happen. There was nowhere for it go but all over me, and so it did. My first day of married life was punctuated by my daughter's worst case of travel sickness to date.

I laughed at the absurdity of the situation as I feebly tried to clean myself up with a baby wipe. The abhorrent odour lingered within the car for the remainder of the journey, easily overpowering the scent of my wilting bouquet that lay on the dashboard in the front. The incident served as a potent reminder that, married or not, there would always be puke to clear up, metaphorically speaking.

Worth remembering.

What are your thoughts on life after wedding? Is the thought of leaving all the planning behind terrifying, or are you ready to embrace the next phase of the adventure? Do the married among you have anything to add to my list of observations? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below. 

Much love,