Hello, I’m Danica! A 2020, 2021, 2022 bride! Don’t mind me – just holding on to all the titles I can, whilst I wait to get married. Eventually.
COVID-19 has been an insane blur for all of us. Very early on my fiance and I decided that we were in the camp of waiting it out. Whilst many of our peers decided as a toast to romance to get married despite the circumstances, we penned a rather different thought.
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“I’ll fancy you forever”
For us, this was our nod to not feeling like our love would expire or combust, and taking the extra time afforded to us to navigate life as a unit.
In doing so, I personally have developed the mindset of ‘you never really know someone until you see them scared’. Tonnes of news articles, varying medical advice, and being stuck indoors with each other for almost a year has taken its toll. There have been times where we’ve stared at each other sure that the other is speaking a different language. We’ve dug deep and questioned our values and evaluated our biases.
In the past two years we’ve had what we thought we wanted our wedding to be, be pulled out from underneath us. And yes, we lost all the money.
We lost our social network when we walked away from church, chopped off 2 bridesmaids, 3 groomsmen, and culled our guestlist. We’re people that do not tolerate racism or discrimination of any kind, and unfortunately the church we were at just couldn’t get on board with that – their loss!
As we’ve changed our reception venue a gazillion times, we’ve found ourselves standing out in the vacant space of – what does marriage mean to us?
As my dress continues to gather dust, and the voices of relatives and old friends quieten in our minds, we’ve come to realise what we had planned would have been our wedding nightmare!
One ongoing pandemic later, we’re still crafting our dream day. But we now stand firm on the most crucial detail: our fun-loving, ambitious, and adventure seeking selves!
Okay so, who on earth am I?
That’s a loaded question, but here’s a bit of info to help you figure that out!
How old are you and how old is your fiance?
I’m twenty-fine (25) and my fiance Sam is 27.
Image by Visuals by Colleen
What do you do?
I’m a Web Developer who builds websites and web apps for a living, but bakes and cooks for fun. Sam is a Web Developer too, with a PhD in Structural Biology and plays rugby. Yes, he is a brainbox.
Where do you live?
The city of Norwich in Norfolk. I grew up in Essex on the border of London and moved to Norwich for university in 2013. Sam was born in Boston, but has lived in a few places (including Scotland), then Norwich due to his father being in the RAF.
How did you meet?
We met in a church that we’ve both skedaddled from. I used to sing in the band, and Sam played guitar. However, we only started talking when there was a need for a new website. Sam was finishing his PhD and wanted to get back into Web Development.
One ‘googly-eyed’ coffee date later, 2 pints in at a pub, I flat out asked Sam –
“Do you fancy me or something?”
Sam bluntly replied – “Yeah – do you want to get married?”
To which I said, “Yeah”.
He followed that with “We’ll see how it goes then”.
And the rest is history!
How did the proposal happen?
Despite how straight-forward we were, the proposal didn’t happen until after around a year of us being together. Sam had booked a spa day for us as a treat. I was nervous as we had spoken about getting engaged and I was sure it was going to happen any day! After the spa Sam had planned for me to pick my favourite restaurant to go to, but instead I insisted on getting a meal deal from Sainsburys (prawn mayo sandwich, beef hula hoops and a cherry pepsi max). I had wanted to get home to put my hair in rollers so that by the evening or the next day my hair would look bouncy and gorgeous for my anticipated proposal.
Instead upon arrival at home, he got a friend to fill the living room with balloons, place a bouquet of sunflowers (my favourite flower), a deck of cards titled ‘10 reasons why I can’t wait to marry you’, and a gorgeous gold, emerald, and diamond ring, propped up in its box. He had managed to get our Google Home to play my favourite song of all time as I entered the room, ‘Kiss me – Sixpence None the Richer’. I sat down on the sofa shakily going through the deck of cards as he read them out to me, and then got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I replied “yeah”.
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What is your vision for your wedding and has this vision changed in light of COVID19?
Our vision is to craft a day that we truly enjoy. Good food, people who we actually want to speak to on the day, and surrounded by our family. Our initial wedding plans were just a hodge-podge of people who we’d invited out of obligation, and trying to pack in all the things we thought we should do – which was just a whole pile of rubbish.
Have you chosen your dress yet?
I have chosen my dress! It is going to have some custom elements added to it to make it even more special. The dress base was bought from a supplier in London who crafted the gown my grandmother was laid to rest in. Up until the day the only people to see my wedding dress will be my mother, a seamstress and myself.
Last movie you watched?
The Disney Pixar film ‘Soul’. I’d massively recommend everyone to watch it if you have Disney Plus! It’s heartfelt and thought-provoking.
Most recent bake?
Sticky Maple & Walnut Apple-Cinnamon Rolls!
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Danica is a member of our community of real brides who are documenting their 2021/2022 weddings through Love My Dress. You can meet the other brides here.
Danica Arthur-AsanteView all Danica's articles
Danica is a vibrant, fun-loving Web Developer and Bride-to-be. Born and raised in Essex, based in Norwich, hails from Ghana. Living with her brainbox fiance Sam, and keen to see what food the world has to offer. A love for fashion, crisps, and social justice. Happiest in a well-fitting bra, with a hot chocolate in hand.
