The Lovettes (Laura) – How To Tackle The Initial Stages of Planning A Wedding, And A Pep Talk For Busy Brides To Be

And single women. And newlyweds. And women celebrating their semi-centennial. And all you lovely chaps out there, too. I’ve got a pep talk for you as well. I want you to stop for a second while you’re sipping your coffee or sitting on the loo or addressing your save-the-dates (like I’ve been meaning to do for three weeks now). Whatever it is you’re doing, take a deep breath, and take a moment to let this sink in:

You are doing just fine.

Your best is enough, and everything will turn out well.

It’s no secret that I can be overly obsessive about things. And, to the surprise of no one, planning a wedding has a tendency to exacerbate this to the power of ten. I feel this ridiculous compulsion to do ALL THE THINGS and to do them SUPER PERFECTLY and they all need to be done RIGHT BLOODY NOW.

There’s a problem with this. By placing so much pressure on myself, I get super overwhelmed before I even undertake a task, and end up hiding under the throw blanket on my couch watching Netflix and eating way too much popcorn. (Trust me, I look anything but victorious when the salty crumbs tumble from the blanket as I finally give up on finding a florist and drag myself to bed.)

(I can’t believe I’m putting this picture of me eating popcorn on the internet)

So what’s the solution? Well, I’m not here to preach about how to fix your life and plan your wedding in sixty seconds. (I’ll reserve that for my home video series, now available for six easy payments of 19.99!*). But here are a few things I’ve learned about how to manage wedding-related (and life-related) tasks without going into total-meltdown-Netflix-mode.

One step at a time. Figure out which tasks need to be dealt with first, and then tackle one or two of them—not ten. You’ll be able to handle them better mentally, and can check a few things off your list before moving on to the next job.

For most weddings, the order begins something like this: decide who is going to contribute to the cost of your wedding, and set a budget. Then, pick a date that you want, and create a rough guest list (we had to know both of these things before we could look at venues, as they’re dependent on whether they can accommodate your guests and if they’re available that day).

One sneaky tip that would have helped us: no one ever really mentioned the rehearsal dinner as an early consideration, so we waited a long time before dealing with that aspect of planning. Unfortunately, many rehearsal venues in our town are also wedding venues, and they were already booked for the day before our wedding (Friday 15 April) by the time we contacted them. Commence sobbing on couch with Netflix and snack foods. (You know how I roll.)

Find out what’s most important to you as a couple. For us, this was our photographer. So, we adjusted our budget around accordingly, and then got right on that sh**. Like, RIGHT on it. Because we knew someone(cough cough, me) was going to be super picky about this and needed time to make this decision without risking responses of “I’m sorry, I’m no longer available on that date!”

Our other priorities were “we have to have an open bar” (sanctioned by Jon, me, and our entire wedding party) and “can we have little bride and groom figurines that are rock climbing up the side of our cake” (…Jon).

Ask for help. Seriously. You’d be surprised how many people will happily lend a hand. My parents have been all over researching and booking the hotel block for our out-of-town guests. My mentor, Janie, is not only officiating our marriage, her daughter offered me her incredible necklace as my ‘something borrowed.’ A former bride whose wedding I shot in January suggested teaching me how to do calligraphy for the envelopes and name cards. A bartender friend of mine has been collecting things for our DIY centerpieces. And my coordinator/friend/savior Beth provides me with wine when I reach the point of “hey screw all this let’s just elope in Paris.” Above all, be gracious—it’s an absolute life-saver when your loved ones volunteer their time and resources.

Quit obsessing where it doesn’t matter.Ohhhh boy, this is the hardest one for me to remember. Who made an exhaustive list of EVERY BRIDESMAID DRESS BRAND AVAILABLE AT EVERY BRIDAL BOUTIQUE IN TOWN and then came to the conclusion that we’re just going to order them off of the internet anyway? Yup, this gal. I also spent days agonising over every single rehearsal venue (half of which weren’t available at that point) and dozens of videographers (only to come to the conclusion that I wanted David to do it after all, like I initially thought).

But the most embarrassing (and hilarious) illustration of this is my save-the-date saga.

I won’t even tell you how much time I spent researching all the different save-the-date designs available for purchase online. There are a MILLION different options, and—as I quickly realised—they’re all adorable. And expensive. Like, up to $5 apiece. Yikers.

So instead of shelling out a thousand dollars on save-the-dates, I decided to try to design and print them myself. I began with a cute little watercolor I made of Jon and I holding hands.**

The problem was, I didn’t really have a vision for how I wanted them to look/feel, so I just started messing around with different fonts haphazardly.

(…Graphic designers everywhere cry tears of indignation.)

So because the fonts weren’t working for me, I LITERALLY HAND-PAINTED MY OWN.

You can’t make this level of crazy up, people.

After wasting countless hours (literally, all of my free time), I ultimately realised that none of this was working for me. And I came to a second, more important conclusion: IT’S A SAVE-THE-DATE. Half of them will end up beneath a pile of bills and unread magazines on a coffee table anyway. (To our beloved family and friends reading this post: if I find our save-the-date being used as a drink coaster at your house, I will cry.)

So, after all this, I did what I should have done in the first place: had Joy Fairclough create some pretty calligraphy for us, Photoshopped the colors to fit our theme, printed them off on my professional-grade printer (I’m a wedding photographer, remember?), and hand-tore the edges for a deckled-edge look (I’m terrible at cutting straight lines anyway!). It was faster, simpler, cheaper, and came out looking a million times better.

Keep it simple, folks.

So, my advice is this: take a deep breath. You’re beautiful and you matter and you’re doing just fine. Stop placing crazy expectations on yourself—you’ll only get in your own way even more. All of your hard work and efforts will surely be enough, even if you forget that sometimes.

And to those of you newly embarking on this crazy process of planning a wedding, slow down, simplify, and, at the end of the day, marry the person you love. It really is that uncomplicated.

XO,

Laura

*Results not guaranteed. All sales final. Video series may or may not be a twelve-hour compilation of me singing 80s songs way too loudly in my car. You’ll just have to order to find out.

**Don’t worry, my little Jon + Laura watercolor doodle will be used for our wedding programs, as will the watercolor text! It just wasn’t working for our save-the-dates. 🙂

 

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Our blogging bride and Lovettes member Laura is due to marry her fiancé Jon at Greenacres in Cincinnati, Ohio in April 2016. Laura and Jon’s wedding will be photographed by the award winning British wedding photographer, Ross Harvey. You can connect with Laura on Instagram, Pinterest and via her professional website and blog. This is Laura’s second post for Love My Dress. You can read her first post here. Enjoy folks!