JB and I are just back from our friends’ wedding in Mallorca, and a hoot was had by all! Standing at Son Marroig with the sun dazzling us on the sweep of the Med below, sniffling at the vows (in Spanish and English, yo), discovering Spanish wedding traditions – shouts of ‘¡Vivan los novios!’, frequent heckling of the bride and groom with shouts of ‘¡Que se besen!’, the father of the bride’s pidgin-Spanish speech, and a spectacular salsa for the first dance. Our heads were reeling taking it all in, it was the best day and we are so happy for Sarah and Fran. ¡VIVA!
Top image – Eugenie fern shoe clips by What Katy Did Next
Bottom image – from this wedding feature on Love My Dress (Images in Focus)
We’re also very excited ourselves, as we have just sent out our save the dates!! Lyndsay at Skinny Malink has done such an amazing job of them, we loved working with her on the design process and we’re looking forward to doing the invitations and menus further down the line.
I have never been one to shy away from controversy; however I’ve hummed and hawed over this topic, wondering if writing about it might be akin to entering the lion’s den. I’m talking about *deep breath* the wedding guest list.
Wedding stationery designs by Skinny Malink
I’ll lay my cards on the table here – I thought I had this one down. We’ve always said we want to keep our wedding on the small-medium size (around 60 guests) and surround ourselves with people who are truly in our lives on the day. Also, as is my wont, I began wedding planning with a definite air of ‘no-one is budging us* on this stuff, it’s our day, it’s our decision and that’s that’, bolstered by previous experience of friends’ weddings where the guest list chat has turned into a parent rammy (one of my favourites being the mother of the bride who thought the guest list was split into three – one section for the couple to pick, and the other two for the parents to pick – that was a fun conversation).
Two of our best friends, who recently celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary (hiya Yateses!), had the most beautiful, small, intimate ceremony on a small islet off their parents’ farm on Seil, followed by a larger party at the town hall. It was perfect. JB and I always thought we’d get married in Lewis, where my family is from, on the little beach at the bottom of my croft where we’ve spent long hours walking the dogs, waving at seals and wading in the surf, happiness embodied. The idea of having a shedload of people there seemed both wildly impractical and mildly terrifying, and we thought we’d follow in our pals’ footsteps with the small ceremony/big reception format.
Thereupon began the guest list debate.
iPhone images taken by Lindsey and JB
‘It’s a long way for people to come only to be invited to the reception’, ‘But what about so and so? I’d like them to be there’, ‘I’m not sure such and such would be able to come to the beach, it would be too much for them’. My initial instinct was to dig my heels in and push on with our original idea, but we let all of our parents’ offerings on the subject sink in, and the longer we pondered it seemed like we should actually have a rethink. We then found Crear, and it seemed exactly the solution we were looking for, without even looking for it. A mere 2 hour drive away, we would take the whole place for three days, our nearest and dearest beach-folk would stay for the whole weekend, and we’d have all our guests there on the wedding day. Is that ‘Hurrah!’ I hear you say?
iPhone images taken by Lindsey and JB at their friends wedding in Mallorca
Introducing our new plans to all round approval was great, but then the murmurs began again. ‘Why are you inviting x but not y?’ came next, followed by ‘I would really like to invite my friends’, followed by my head exploding. PARENTS! Y U NO SSSHHH?
We looked again at our list over a sangria in Mallorca. We pondered. We had more sangria. I started to wonder, was I being resistant for resistance’s sake**? More sangria. We decided, y’know what, maybe a few more folk wouldn’t actually be such a bad thing.
Image sources: tweed, antler, heart balloons, notebook, Sea & Cake necklace, daisy bouquet
Since we started planning this wedding, countless people have offered me the same advice when it comes to guest lists – some things just aren’t worth falling out over. Turns out (despite my initial ‘I will not be pushed on anything’ stance) they’re right. Unreasonable commandeering aside, sometimes I think you just need to take a step back and get a little perspective on things.
So you don’t know your in-laws’ best friend, or your fifth cousin twice removed isn’t your favourite person: if they matter to someone who matters to you, maybe dig your heels out and consider changing your mind. For those who might be thinking ‘BUT! There must be a line drawn somewhere’, yes, there must. I just wonder if sometimes we might draw that line a little too quickly and too rigidly, and not crossing it becomes the objective, instead of making a balanced decision. My story is just that – mine, from my perspective, with full acceptance of alternatives and no judgement on others.
Deer cake topper, from this feature on Love My Dress
Image Copyright (c) 2014, Gail Kelly Design & Photography
I’d love to hear from LMD readers who have their own guest list stories to share, be they horrifying or hilarious. *ducks*
Lindsey x
*me
**totes not in my nature at all *cough*
*me
**totes not in my nature at all (cough)
