Tolu and Jack were married in October, with a small legal ceremony at Danson House followed by a larger celebration at High Billinghurst Farm in Surrey, where they were surrounded by family and friends.
Tolu is Nigerian, and she planned the day closely with her mum. Together, they organised Aso Ebi for family and friends, with gold, mustard, blue, green and red worn across the different groups. The fabrics were sourced and the outfits made in Nigeria, then sent over ahead of the wedding, including the pieces Tolu and Jack changed into for the evening.
The couple chose High Billinghurst Farm because it allowed them to do things their way. Being a dry hire venue meant they could bring in their own caterers and serve the food they wanted, with Nigerian dishes alongside English options for their guests.
Deji Johnson Photography photographed both their wedding days. He had also photographed Tolu’s sister’s wedding, so already understood the moments that mattered most for this lovely family, including the traditional Nigerian money spray dance later in the evening!
Thank you so much Tolu and Jack for sharing your absolutely beautiful wedding with Love My Dress – it’s been such a joy to prepare this one for our readers. Enjoy!
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The Venue & Location
Our venue was High Billinghurst Farm in Surrey. Venue-wise, we knew it was going to be an autumn wedding, so we wanted somewhere that felt warm, cosy and rustic. We didn’t want anywhere that was overly formal and it’s a cliche, but we fell in love with High Billinghurst Farm as soon as we saw it.
It’s a family owned and run site with two spacious barns with their own character, a cottage and shepherds huts which we used to help with getting ready. The flexibility of allowing dry hire meant we could bring in our own caterers which was really important to us in order to have authentic Nigerian food for guests.
The Dress
Stella York
I wore the Camille Dress by Stella York, with a custom made shoulder strap. I had some rough ideas of what I wanted and had already been to try dresses at one boutique, narrowing things down a bit more, but Victoria’s Bridal Boutique helped me think outside my box and pick a dress I would never have chosen but loved on.
I had thought I hated strapless, sweetheart necklines, lace and see-through corsets, but ended up with a dress that had all of that.
On the day I chose my dress, there was someone from the Stella York in the shop, and she was really helpful with suggestions when I talked about the idea of a shoulder wrap to go with the dress. Victoria’s Bridal Boutique then supported me with a bespoke shoulder strap, ordering in extra lace from Stella York to help the seamstress create it. Nothing was too much trouble, even though I needed longer fittings and an extra one. The wrap really made the dress for me.
I always wanted a big white wedding, and for me that meant a big white dress. I loved how light my dress felt despite having such a full skirt. Details like the large lace florals made it feel so romantic. My bespoke strap topped it off, and I loved the flexibility of removing it during the reception to create another look for cake cutting, our first dance and our sparklers exit before changing for the party. It was the perfect dress for me.
I also had a custom-made traditional Nigerian outfit made by Bisbod Asooke, based in Lagos. I sketched out the style I wanted, and they worked on a couple of designs. Consultations and measurements were done via video call, and the outfit was shipped over a couple of months before the wedding. The craftsmanship and quality was outstanding. They also made my husband’s outfit.
My mum was key in helping with getting materials chosen and all the outfits custom made in Nigeria. In our culture the couples’ family choose colours to wear with everyone matching outfits. Additional colours are picked for the bridal party, the couples’ parents, and the bride and groom. We went for gold, mustard, blue, green and red for our various Aso Ebi material. It all came together beautifully on the day.
Our traditional beads for our Nigerian outfits were put together in Nigeria. The beads are often orange, but we opted for cream to contrast with our red outfits.
I wore a plain full-length veil so as not to distract too much from my dress and to frame it. It was from my bridal boutique.
I have wide feet and really prioritised comfort on the day, so nothing too glam or pricey. I went for low ivory wide-fit sandals from ASOS. My evening shoes were definitely more special, borrowed from my mum, with a matching bag made in Italy.
My makeup artist, Rafinée by Lola, specialised in soft glam looks. I did a quick change of lippy switched things up for my evening look. I styled my own hair. I wore a perfume my husband bought me for my last birthday, L’interdit Givenchy.
My wedding bag was a bit of fun – a little clutch with “I Do” beaded onto it which I especially loved for our photo booth photos.
My bridesmaids wore dresses by Ever-Pretty. I chose velvet dresses which suited the season, in a teal-green shade I wanted to complement and tie together all the jewel tones in the wedding. They all wore their own shoes etc. They all had gele (Nigerian head ties) for the party.
Flower girl dresses were from John Lewis. The dresses had lots of tulle, which my daughter and my husband’s niece loved, and floral lace to link with my dress. Our daughter also had a Nigerian outfit to match us for the evening and so did our son but unfortunately he wasn’t able wear his as he was fast asleep by the party.
Jack wore a tuxedo bought from Moss and a custom-made Nigerian outfit. His ushers all wore custom made Nigerian outfits throughout the day – the groomsmen changed into theirs for the party.
The Ceremony
My Dad walked me down the aisle. He was such a calming presence and later delivered the most thoughtful, beautiful speech that completely held the room. His second father of the bride speech in as many years – it was perfect.
We were accompanied on arrival to the sound of ‘Songbird’, by Eva Cassidy, sung by The RoseGold Choir. They also entertained guests ahead of the ceremony and during our reception.
We hired Jane The Celebrant to officiate our wedding my aunt, who is a pastor, lead our blessing and prayers.
We had two readings read by our siblings, which we felt reflected us and how we felt about love. I found them after lots of googling. They were ‘I’ll Be There For You’, by Louise Cuddon, read by Jack’s sister and ‘The Beauty of Love’, by Mark Twain, which we tweaked a little, and that was read by my brother.
We had custom promises and vows. We were legally married prior to the main wedding at a registry office, so we wanted to have more fun and be more personal with our celebrant ceremony.
A few lines:
“I promise never to stop buying you flowers – even when there’s no reason or occasion. I promise to try and put the cap on the toothpaste, look for things before I ask you if you’ve seen them… and take the bins out without being reminded.”
“I promise to love you no matter how bushy your beard gets or even if you decide to shave it all off! I promise to make you spaghetti bolognese at least every other week – and never make you a meal containing sweetcorn.”
Our rings were by Durrants of London. My husband wanted a signet ring as his wedding ring, so we searched for somewhere in Hatton Garden that could do this. A friend recommended them.
Photography & Videography
Our photographer was Deji Johnson. I first met Deji when he photographed my sister’s wedding. I loved the true-to-life colours in his images and how natural they were, with lovely little moments and details captured.
It felt like having a friend along with you on the day, so you could be yourself for photos and not overly posed. He also understood the cultural aspects of the day that would be key to capture.
Our wedding films by Big Day Productions were wonderful and captured our day just as we remembered it with extras that we didn’t see on the day. You barely noticed our videographer – he efficiently worked away – but when watching the film back you realise how he must have been there at every moment and you really do get to relive the day. As one family member said – the films ‘put you in the room’. A true document of the day.
How They Met
We crossed paths on the dating app Hinge. I first downloaded it while working on some features for work about dating in London. A couple of years later I matched with Jack, and we met in October 2020 during the pandemic. Our first dates involved curfews and rules around mixing with different households indoors. A full lockdown led to us ‘bubbling’ together so we could still see each other.
We got engaged on Christmas Day in 2023, around three years after we first met, and got married on our fifth anniversary. We packed a lot into the five years from meeting to “I do” – with two children and buying house making life very busy for the last few years.
The Reception
The venue was already beautiful, but it was lovely to hire items like vintage persian rugs and Chesterfield sofas to give the cosy feel we wanted. Our stationery was largely by Papier – we loved the quality. As I’m a journalist, we had to have a newspaper, which I designed on Canva and printed with The Newspaper Club.
They included an article about of our registry ceremony earlier in the week, as well as practical information like the menu and schedule for the day.
Bud and Flower offered a really affordable “florist’s choice” package, which I thought was a fab idea. We had a chat and I sent through photos of some of the colours and fabrics for the day, along with a few inspiration images, but trusted my florist to make the selections on specific flowers.
I didn’t want a huge bouquet, just something colourful that tied together all the outfit colours of the day.
It was lovely to give my bouquet to my mum in front of all our guests as a gift to say thank you for all the work she’d put in to sourcing the outfits for the wedding – and all her help in making it such a wonderful day.
As it was an autumn wedding, we went for bud vases mixed with candles rather than a large floral display on the tables. We also needed lots of room for food on tables as we opted for family style service so people could try a variety of dishes.
We planned the wedding ourselves, but as it was a dry-hire venue, I booked The Surrey Wedding Company to do our on-the-day coordination. I also hired various items for our table centrepieces from them including log slices and candle holders, which they styled on the day. Other table wear like our floral plates and green water glasses were hired from Couvert hire.
Our caterers were Favour Catering. Food was a huge part of our day, and choosing our own caterers was the reason we went with a dry-hire venue, so we could have both English and authentic Nigerian food. Our caterers did not disappoint.
My husband loves pick ’n’ mix, so this was always going to be our choice. We found someone on Etsy who made kids’ birthday bags and asked for wedding-specific ones. (seller no longer operating)
We also gave out souvenir bags from my parents, which included various gifts from family and friends like towels and a notebook. It’s traditional to have gifts like this distributed at Nigerian weddings.
My tactic was to pick a cake designer close to the venue, and we really hit the jackpot with Claire. The cakes on her website were so unique that I felt inspired to go for something different. I sent through our wedding stationery style and some key colours from the day, and Claire, who is a true artist, dreamed up our cake.
We had different flavours across the tiers; red velvet, lemon drizzle, and vanilla with raspberry.
Evening & Dancing
Our first dance was to “You’ve Got the Love” by The Source and Candi Staton. A song we both love, with lyrics that resonated. We spent a long time trying to choose, and then one day it came on and we both knew it was right. It’s the version that closes season 6 of Sex and the City – we’d watched all the seasons together early on when we first got together.
Another favourite moment was our last dance of the wedding to “All My Life” by KC and JoJo. Just a few people left on the dance floor surrounding us with no photographers or videographer. A very special, intimate moment at the end of an epic day.
I also loved that we actually got to spend a lot of time together on the day not least because we had a sweetheart table for the dinner.
I adored my Nigerian outfit, which was a very contrasting fit to my day dress – hugging in all the right places. It felt great on for the party in my favourite colour, red, with lots of sparkle.
Words of Wedded Wisdom
If there’s anything niggling you while planning, don’t ignore it, try and sort it early on. Then trust the team you’ve assembled to run the day for you. It’s their job. Remember that all anyone ultimately wants is to see you both happy, so try to be in the moment and enjoy the day. Finally, pick a special last song!
I would have tweaked the table plan slightly and had more friends towards the front. I also would have liked to do table-dash photos, but we ran out of time.
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