As a writer for Love My Dress, I’m lucky to get to see a larger number of wedding photographs than the average person. It’s one of my favourite things about being part of this delightful team. I love how each and every set of pictures is so completely different, from the style of photography (reportage, traditional or fine art, black and white or colour, digital or film) to the details and decor (jewellery, shoes, flowers, headpiece, dress etc etc). Every wedding is completely different, because as humans we are each unique beings. And therefore, every set of wedding photographs are different – representing the couple, their interests and style and a snapshot of that one day in time. A little piece of history.
Why then, are we so often urged to make choices when planning our wedding, to ensure our photographs remain ‘timeless’? I want to make the case today for there being no such thing as a timeless wedding, and to encourage our readers to stop pressuring themselves into trying to achieve one.
One thing I discovered when planning my own wedding a couple of years back, was a definite sense within the ‘wedding community’ that you should be careful in your wedding choices, to avoid your photographs looking ‘dated’ within a few years. The overwhelming idea being that the ideal wedding (whatever that is?) is ageless, elegant, classic and ‘timeless’.
But what does ‘timeless’ even mean? I understand it to imply a classic, traditional style, which will always look beautiful and dreamlike, not high fashion, quirky or ‘out there’ – in years to come. Images that will ‘stand the test of time’ and look as beautiful in 50 years time as they do now. Fair enough, but weddings aren’t stuck in a timewarp where nothing ever changes, and neither is the world, so where does this idea come from, and should you bother yourself to adhere to it?
I chose to wear my glasses on my wedding day, just like a lot of other Love My Dress ladies. My glasses, in comparison to many styles, were really extremely innocuous, but I was determined to wear them because I have always worn glasses (I can’t see properly in contact lenses) and they’re a big part of me, my character and who I am. I was surprised therefore to have been counselled by so many well-wishers, against wearing spectacles at all on my wedding day. I was told that my glasses would ‘date’ my wedding photos terribly.
For a while, I even wondered about wearing contact lenses, but swiftly discarded that idea when I realised I could’t answer the question ‘would it really matter if our wedding photographs looked ‘dated’ in a few years?‘.
Besides, why should I?
My wedding
Photography by Karen McGowran
As individuals, we change all of the time. Our fashion and lifestyle preferences, hairstyle and so on – so why should wedding photographs be any different? Why might your wedding photographs need to look ‘current’ and ‘timeless’ when you plan on showing them off to your Grandchildren in 50 years time? Will they care if they don’t? Will you?
Isn’t part of the joy of rummaging through old photographs being able to immerse yourself in a different era for a little while – evoke a sense of nostalgia and provoke memory? We’ve all looked back at photographs of family weddings and giggled at the hideous orange dress chosen by a great aunt, or at the beard our Dad wore in the 70’s – even the famously coveted dress Princess Diana chose for the Royal wedding in 1981 looks terribly outdated nowadays, but it represents a historical and fascinating moment in time – is that a bad thing?
Princess Diana’s wedding dress
Wedding photography evokes memory
Some weddings rock the traditional look – and that’s OK with us. But if classic really isn’t your thing, then wouldn’t it better to just throw yourselves in to planning a day that’s all about the two of you as a couple right now, at this moment, surrounding yourselves with the things and people and food and music that you love today?
Even just two years on from our wedding, my preferences have already changed. There are friends we have made who I very much wish had been a part of our day (thankfully, none I wish hadn’t been!). There are new dress designers to drool over and millions of ideas that have been generated via Pinterest – a social media tool that wasn’t anywhere near as prevalent then as it is now.
There are even new venues popping up on my radar which make me feel envious! Don’t get me wrong – I’m so happy we had the wedding day we did and I wouldn’t want to change any of it – but it isn’t necessarily exactly what we would do if we were to begin the planning all over again today. I’d have probably chosen a dress with sleeves, and braved wearing a gorgeous pair of distressed brown leather boots.
A wedding photograph is a snapshot in time, as are all photographs, but we don’t seem to have that same urge to make other pictures of our best memories seem forever current and timeless – we just accept them for what they are – pictures of the people we were at that time, on that day, in that mood and with those feelings and thoughts and emotions.
I love this photograph – it’s one of my favourites from our wedding. I spotted my wedding dress initially in a very exclusive bridal magazine in London and just fell in love with it. After that, my dress seemed to appear in every magazine I bought! The model wearing it was standing on a beautiful sweeping staircase and looked stunning. I was in such a flap on the morning of our wedding – I had been to the hairdressers for hours getting my hair curled and make up applied, then went outside for a photo and this win just came from nowhere – all I kept thinking was ‘my curls!’. (Nikki married Nigel on 18th June 1994 at Ingestre in Staffordshire)
If in ten years time you look back at your wedding photographs and think ‘by ‘eck, my hair!!’, well I say that’s great! As long as you loved it at the time. Forget the pressure to look timeless on your wedding. Live for the now and make the decisions that matter today, because no matter how talented your photographer is in capturing ‘timeless images’, your wedding photographs will look like they were taken when they were. How lucky are we to even have a wonderful visual reminder of such a special day, to share with future generations. Embrace the idea of giggling over your sartorial choices and hair styles – it’s part of the pleasure of growing old and being lucky enough to have a precious visual reminder of love, life, family and that one beautiful day in history.
My wedding
Photography by Karen McGowran
I’d really love to hear your views…
Are you feeling pressured by the whole ‘timeless wedding’ thing?
Are you getting stressed over feeling you have to look/wear/be like someone who isn’t really you on your wedding day?
What do the terms ‘timeless wedding’ and ‘timeless wedding photography’ mean to you?
And how have you tackled planning the wedding you want despite pressure from others to create a day full of ‘timeless’ style?
Big love all of you,
Love Shona x
Shona Raffle-EdwardsView all Shona's articles
Shona is a wedding admiring bookworm with a love of the countryside, flowers and all things organisational who is currently based in sunny Yorkshire with her husband and beloved cat
I’ve had exactly the same opinions foisted on me with regards to my glasses being too thick-rimmed and ‘dating’ our photographs but my fiance has specifically asked me to wear them because he says he wants to recognise me in the bride he’s marrying. Just one of the reasons I can’t wait to marry him – This Saturday!!!
That’s lovely Fiona! And so lovely of you to share and for us to hear. HOORAY for brides in glasses! By the way, did you read this post? >> https://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2013/06/brides-in-glasses.html
Love Annabel xx
Thank you for your comment Fiona- good for you for doing what you want! Very best wishes for this Saturday! Xx
Love this article and fully agree. I don’t believe timeless is what most couples wish to achieve as their wedding is in the here and now and fashions & hairstyles change. I got married without my glasses, however, it was a long time ago and my eye sight was a lot better than it is now. However, I now feel it was a vain mistake because I must have missed a lot of the day!
I love this article! As a wedding photographer, looking through my parents old wedding photographs was one of the things that inspired me. The photographs really do transport you to a different time and I just love that! I hope my wedding couples look back at their wedding photographs in 10 or even 20 years time and feel transported back to that day. And as for glasses – my Mum wore her glasses on her wedding day because they are a part of her. She looked absolutely stunning on her wedding day and she also looked completely like herself. X
I’m so pleased you like this article so much Livvy! And thank you so much for your positive words too – it’s lovely to have a wedding photographers voice as part of this discussion!
Much love,
Annabel x
Yeah, I don’t get the obsession with making sure everything is timeless… I want to be able to look back on my pictures and be proud that I’ve been married for years and not have it look like it could have been yesterday! I’m not generally a very trendy person, but a lot of things I like just happen to be very popular right now, so I’m sure my wedding photos will look super dated in a few years. I have, however, been trying to make decisions based on things that I know I’ve liked for awhile, not just things I saw on Pinterest, that way even if things look dated, I won’t be looking back and cringing.
We don’t generally follow trends here! We just love what we love 🙂
Thanks for participating Robin! Sounds like you’re on exactly the right track to me,
Love Annabel xx
As a recent bride (3.5 weeks ago), I think the best decision we made was to ignore expectations (within reason!). Not because we were set of having a unique wedding, but because we wanted the day to reflect us as individuals and as a couple, rather than be ‘a wedding’ (does that make sense)? You’re never going to please or appeal to everyone so you might as well do what will make you happy on the day – and hopefully that will make your friends and family happy too.
So in the same vein, why does it matter if anyone else thinks what you did is dated in 2, 10, 25 or 50 years, if it makes you happy that day, and reflects you as a couple at that time. And I know we wouldn’t have been as comfortable and happy on the day if we hadn’t been true to the sort of people we are (which probably isn’t people of timeless taste!)
And hopefully the main thing I will remember in the future is just how ridiculously happy we were that day. I’m sure the main reason for that was because we had just married our best friend and were surrounded by our favourite people, but everything about the day just felt right – there was nothing we regretted or got frustrated or worried about – and that’s got to have helped.
I won’t lie, when I look back on the photos I’ve seen so far, I enjoy remembering how much I enjoyed wearing my dress, or how beautiful the flowers were – but the thing that draws me in most are how people laughing and smiling and the love you can see in everyone. And even if everything else dates, that feeling will never be out of fashion.
This is something I have been thinking about for a while, we should be looking back on our lives with a mixture of emotions including giggling at that hideous dress you Loved at the time. If we really think about it, it’s easy enough to date a photograph just by the surroundings/hairstyle/eyebrows even if timeless is the intention.
Thank you all for your lovely comments. As Annabel said- we don’t really follow the crowd or trends here at LMD- if you love something then make it yours and put your personality and happiness into it- that’s what is important xx