I witnessed the most beautiful sight on my daily walk to the beach the other day. A sweet, and very loved-up, couple were declaring how much they already missed each other, clinging on tight, not wanting to let go. After a significant amount of eavesdropping (the journalist in me is always looking for a story), I was determined that the couple were about to spend the night apart, for tomorrow was their wedding day. Immediately, I was transported right back to the time when I said goodbye to my fiancé the day before we became married.
You can just picture what happened the second I arrived home. Out came the wedding album, tears of happiness spilling forth as I I poured over the images and recalled memories of all the silly, special, funny, serious, sad and happy times. Then I suddenly realised it’s coming up to our one-year anniversary, which got me thinking about just how much we’ve achieved since that magical late Summer’s day in September 2014.
In the build up to our wedding day, my husband (and it still feels fantastic to be able to say those words) and I held regular ‘Planning Saturdays’. with copious amounts of coffee and enthusiasm, we did about four hours of intensive activities to update suppliers, sort out favours, work out table plans and all those wee little details. I was most impressed, not only because my husband-to-be was just as excited about the planning as me (in truth, he kept me on track) but for the fact that these busy Saturdays drew us closer together even closer. I had an epiphany – I had found myself a very, very good egg.
Now, ten months later, we are settling into our new home near the beach, having relocated from the UK to my hometown of Wollongong, Australia. We’re a few minutes from the water, the most beautiful sandy beaches, and the loveliest little local café who has our regular coffee order ready within minutes. We have a wonderful base of friends and family and hubby loves his new life in Oz – and I love re-connecting with the place I grew up in and am so proud to call home again.
We lived in the newlywed bubble for a few months after the wedding – a beautiful bubble I’d like to think will never burst – but, of course, reality soon hit. The honeymoon and wedding was officially over, and instead there were bills to pay, my new husband’s shift working pattern to work around so we didn’t pass like ships in the night, and both of us finding our feet as we settled into a new life together as Mr and Mrs.
Me on my wedding day
(Gary Roebuck Photography)
One of the ways we found to cope with this initial feeling of utter post-wedding deflation was replacing our Wedding Planning Saturdays with Life Planning activities instead, ie, working out logistics for the new upcoming adventure of uprooting our lives in Surrey and trekking Down Under. And so began the job searches, flat hunting, researching the (extortionate) costs of bread and milk, and hubby’s favourite, ‘top tips for staying cool in an Aussie summer!’. Doing these activities helped us immensely and gave new focus and fresh eyes to the beginning stages of our marriage.
I pose these questions then to our newlywed Love My Dress readers: How did you find this period of transition as a new bride or groom? Did you have to work on compromises? Has the bubble burst? Do you miss planning your wedding and ticking off the to-do-list? And do you find yourself, like me, experiencing completely random episodes where you look at your new life partner and squeal with excitement that you’re actually married (and, let’s be honest now, feel very happy at the thought of not having to go on the dating scene again?!).
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences as you muddle through the slightly murky, yet wonderful, waters of the first year of marriage. Just this morning I was playing some music on the sound system and on came our wedding favour soundtrack. Cue tears at the lovely, happy memories of walking down the aisle to the hauntingly beautiful tune of ‘Now We Are Free’ from the Gladiator movie. This moment meant so much and signified a lot of clarity for me. I’d finally found ‘the one’ who completely gets me, quirks and all, and who I can support and help start afresh as we experience together the bumpy, yet exhilarating ride that is marriage and adventure called life.
And we make sure, every week, that we follow the very sound advice of lovely Tippy and George, whose twenty-year vow renewal featured earlier this year on Love My Dress:
As for keeping the marriage going, it has been said before but I would highly recommend that couples keep dating. Whether you are a year into your marriage or twenty years like us it’s always good to go out – for a concert, a stroll, coffee or just to catch a movie. Spend some ‘us’ time together. Take the extra effort. Even when George and I are busy working we would sometimes meet at the end of the day to catch a movie or grab dinner before going home. We still go on dates and have weekends away together – just us. (Tippy, Love My Dress reader)
I’d love to throw out a huge love and congratulations to those readers who will be celebrating their first anniversary shortly. I just googled ‘first year anniversary presents for him’ and discovered a range of options: I can go with traditional paper, or perhaps the modern suggestion of plastic, or even ‘alternate modern’ with a clock. I’m thinking something plastic-ey and gadget-ey will be right up his alley. Perhaps?
I can’t wait to hear about your experiences and thoughts about marriage one year on, and how you’ve handled any of your own post-wedding blues.
Love Jo -xxx-
Jo Singletary View all Jo's articles
Jo hails from and lives in sunny Australia, is currently working towards her dream of being a career coach and a few of her favourite things are watching the sunrise over the ocean, morning walks on the beach, butterflies, and supporting the guide dogs charity.
Lovely feature Jo- and I always love seeing photos of your wedding- I just adore that flower crown!
For us, like many couples I expect, the first few months after the wedding were a bit of a come down, as we no longer had masses of wedding stuff to plan, but we filled it with planning holidays (my very favourite passtime) and must a month after our wedding my fabulous goddaughter Martha was born, so that was very exciting! I agree with the advice re keeping dating and finding projects for the two of you to replace wedmin!
Wedding planning is great, but so is married life- don’t morn the planning so much that you forget to enjoy your new adventure 🙂
S xx
Thank you for your lovely comments Shona – and great that you were able to fill the wedding aftermath with holidays and exciting bub arrivals! And yes, keeping busy with projects is great. The latest here in the Singletary household … interior decorating, yay! xxx
Hi Jo over there! Well we celebrated our year just 6 days ago. (For info, I went for paper with some artwork from a Birmingham artist!) I think our first year has been a really lovely one. For me, there is something more special about being married rather than simply in a relationship and I love having a husband instead of a boyfriend/partner thing.
The newlywed bubble burst ages ago but I think you grow into something even more important. Something built on stronger, more secure foundations. As for the wedding planning. I truly miss it! I’m waiting for someone to ask for my help so that I can share my ideas (poached from LMD obvs) and skills!!! Any takers?!
Happy anniversary to all you 2014 couples. It was a great year but maybe I’m a tad biased;) xx
Thanks so much Katie for sharing these thoughts – and I’m going to steal your artwork on paper idea 😉 And I feel your pain, I miss those planning Saturdays loads! xxx
Hello! It was six years this March since we tied the knot – an event that would change my life and lead to the creation of this blog!
I can honestly say that as each year passes, I feel more deeply into my marriage and in love with my husband. We’re just like any other couple, we have our struggles and hardships and some of them really test the strength of our relationship and the vows we made to one another. I’m not going to lie about that – it isn’t always rainbows, sunbeams and unicorns. Life is life – one moment you’re cruising along fine them bam, it throws a curve ball at you. All I know here, almost six and a half years later, I feel thankful that I have a marriage that I want to and am able to nurture.
Like Katie says, it feels like we’ve grown into something even more important, with stronger foundations. when I think of our wedding and all those glorious memories, it fills me with happiness and reminds me of life commitment I made to try to make it work, always.
I’m hoping we can renew our vows one day – maybe on our tenth anniversary 🙂
Lovely post Jo,
Annabel xxx
Thanks Annabel 🙂 and I hear you about the unicorns and rainbows! I’ve learnt in this first year that it’s all about the three C’s: compromise, communicating and cuddles 🙂
And yes, renewing vows at ten years is a brill idea … maybe Katie can help you plan the occasion? 😉 xxx
We got married 6 months ago today, and decided while we were on our honeymoon that around that once a month, around our wedding, we would take it in turns to each take the other out on a surprise date for the entire first year. So far, we have toured a gin distillery, been to the seaside, reenacted our first date, been for champagne at our wedding venue….. Having something new to look forward to each month, and also putting the care and attention in to creating lovely surprises for each other has been a great way to spend our first 6 months of marriage, and I’m looking forward to the next 6 leading up to our first wedding anniversary!
That sounds a lovely idea Emilie. Always try and keep it going 🙂 x
Fab ideas Emilie, thank you for sharing! I love that you re-enacted your first date – we did that too just before leaving the UK 🙂 xx
I love this idea so much! Thank you so much for sharing Emilie,
Love Annabel xx
It is so nice to read about life after the wedding! This was so beautiful to read x
Ohhh, thank you Olivia for your lovely comments – and yes, there is definitely life after the wedding. It’s preparing for the next stage in your relationship and being on the rollercoaster, together 🙂 xxx
Reading this post has helped me so much as I am a newlywed who just got married on Saturday 8th August. As I write this my husband and I are sitting in the North terminal of Gatwick airport waiting for our flight to Italy for our honeymoon.
Yesterday went by in such a blur of intense emotion. A mixture of elation, pride, excitement, nerves and sadness that this day we have planned and dreamt of has passed us by in such a beautiful and perfect haze.
Now we are waiting for the flight I have started to feel all the excitement and anticipation of our honeymoon to come. I wish we could do it all again! It was wonderful x
Ohhhh, huge congratulations Charlotte and thank you so much for sharing your experience. Have a wonderful honeymoon in romantic Italy, how exciting! And when you get home, perhaps plan a little something to do every month with just you and your new husband. It’s so lovely to have things to look forward to. And remember, you’ll soon get to see your wedding photos and you’ll always have the happy memories to tap into 🙂 xxx
Jo, what a gorgeous read! We just had to re-do the maths to work out we have done 18yrs, so the next anniversary is 19… But that first year stays firmly in my mind as exciting, a lot of fun, and people wondering when the honeymoon period would be over. For us that took about 5yrs!!! I think being mates, not too precious about anything, being willing to ‘muck in’, and taking a moment to be grateful to each other goes a long way for a long time. We are lucky. We have virtually grown up together having met at 16& 18yrs old, but respect for each other has remained #1. Remember why you fell in love in the first place, and keep the flame alive! Great read Jo!!!?
Thank you Cathy for your comments and congrats on 18 years, that’s incredible! And I love this – respect for each other has remained as number 1 – that’s awesome. Are you thinking of doing a 20-year vow renewal?! 🙂 xxx
it is so exciting to see this article.. i am on the net now because it is our paper (1st anniversary) this weekend – December 6th. I am designing a card that i can send to him.. so was searching for 1st anniversary theme colours and i stumbled on your site.. totally amazing. I would like to share my story but just after the celebration if you don’t mind please. Thank you a lot:)
Oh yes! We’d like that very much indeed! Much love and congratulations to you Mimi on your first wedding anniversary 🙂
Love Annabel xxx