What a week it’s been loves, hasn’t it? I don’t know about you, but I’ve sensed a real shift in the way I feel this week, and many of my friends and colleagues are reporting the same.
It’s so difficult to articulate as we prepare to enter our 10th week of lockdown – but I don’t think we should be afraid to share how we’re really feeling (and especially in light of the fact that Mental Health Awareness Week is just coming to an end). Furthermore, after some discussion in our closed Facebook group for brides this week, I’m keen to remind you how you should never, ever be guilt shamed into feeling terrible for the fact your wedding isn’t going ahead as planned this year
Weddings represent the very essence of everything we are missing right now; joy, celebration, family, friends, togetherness, hugs, kissing, closeness. But it’s about so much more than this too – it’s about disruption to baby making and IVF plans, messing up your plans to move house or get a new job or pay off debt or a million other things you had planned this year. It’s about dealing with loss or working on the front line or being separated from people when you need them the most. You have every right to grieve for these losses, for not being able to hold your precious wedding day as you had envisioned it, on the date you had planned it for. And our hearts go out to all and any of you impacted this way.
So now lovely friends, let’s focus on something happy and uplifting to escape to memories of better times for just a little while – remind ourselves what we’ll be able to do once this pandemic has passed and we can truly embrace celebration and togetherness once more.
Photography by Miranda Stokkel (below) + Trevor King
Freelance Choreographer Elizabeth married Freelance Writer Sonny on 13th July last year at The Old Boat House in Clapton, London. Their day was full of DIY and very personal, meaningful touches. I must admit that a little tear came to my eyes as I was composing this piece and read Elizabeth’s words below…
“The power of bringing all your loved ones together is something to be cherished and if you can bring something positive into the world from this I think that is a beautiful thing.”
“We asked all our guests if they would join us in doing something charitable every year on the 13th July however big or small and however they feel comfortable. It makes us so happy thinking there is so much goodness going into the world because of our marriage. I can’t wait to hear the stories this year.”
“This process of choosing bridesmaids dresses was tricky as we were all scattered all over the world leading up to the wedding so the only time I saw the dresses together was on the day… needless to say it was fairly stressful but it worked. I sent the bridesmaids a colour pallet months in advance and they chose their own dresses. Two of the bridesmaids were heavily pregnant so it was really important they felt their best without too much interference from me.”
“All the bridesmaids and my hair was done at Shine On The Green in Stoke Newington. This was such a pleasant experience and I loved having the pamper with the bridesmaids before we got dressed.”
The pageboys looked cute as in their Zara outfits. The little flowergirls wore frocks from John Lewis and That’s Not Fair in Dalston.
“The women who owns That’s Not Fair is incredibly helpful and the children’s clothing is well sourced and always so cool.”
“Sonny chose his outfit and the groomsmen outfits himself. He has a great eye for clothing and I was the one consulting him on my choices throughout the process. He wore a Ralph Lauren jacket, waistcoat and tie, APC white shirt and shoes were Grenson Antelopes.“
“I had my dad and bridesmaids accompany me on a 1960s red bus to the wedding. The bus also did another trip to collect Sonny and some of our guests as they were in a few different locations on the day. We wanted to make it nice and easy for everyone.”
“When we found the rowing club we knew it was perfect for us as it offered us the informal country setting that we could make our own memories in due to the location not having a huge history of weddings prior.”
“We also loved the idea of being close to the canal as its so peaceful and quiet here. We also loved that we were able to transform the main room into something personal to us as it really is an ideal blank canvas filled with natural light.”
“The people at the venue allowed us to come the day before and we spent the day decorating the room and hanging bunting of wild flowers from the ceiling. A job that took a little longer than anticipated – though we were pulled through the process by my dad with a delivery of cocktails.”
“We did the planning of the day ourselves with the support of my cousin Victoria Pugh who works as a fashion producer at La La Land Productions.”
“My sister in law Jesse Arifien is a fashion stylist and helped with choosing dresses and sourced the necklace and earring set from Erth Jewelry for me to wear. My other sister in law is head of production at Zimmerman and was able to offer invaluable guidance on my evening outfit.”
“My dad, Barry, walked with me down the aisle which meant a lot to me, we have such a great relationship and it meant so much having all my family involved in the ceremony in some capacity.”
“My sister Laura Pick and one of my close friends Jess Swann sang and played acoustic guitar for me as I came down the aisle. It was a song they wrote together called ‘I Will’ I really had to fight back the tears. This was incredibly beautiful and something I will treasure for as long as I live.”
“Our wedding was delivered by a registrar from Hackney council. They allowed the process to be smooth and asked all the right questions.”
“Our word is a precious and powerful thing and for me our vows were a huge part of our marriage. We took our time and spoke with other people about how they had decided on their vows. I was incredibly stuck and felt the pressure of living up to my commitment for the rest of my life.”
“We therefore agreed these vows would be for 10 years and we would then revisit them and decide on new ones in the year 2029.”
“I did lots of research on instagram and Pinterest when it came to the visual aesthetic of the day and my good friends Loren Elstein (production designer) and Ellen Antico (Artist) offered their ideas on the hanging flower bunting and the logistics to make this work. Worm London was also a huge inspiration.”
“Myself and Loren hired a zip van at 5am on the Thursday before the wedding and went to the New Covent Garden Market which is a wholesaler to buy £250 worth of flowers. This adventure saved us £750. Our bath was filled with flowers for two evenings but it was definitely worth it. I’ll treasure this experience with Loren, our bartering skills were memorable.”
“We chose flowers we loved the look of and kept to soft with the flowers and had yellow as the accenting colour which tied in with the groomsmen and all the bridesmaids flowers.”
“We also had lots of eucalyptus to pay homage to Australia where Sonny is originally From.We also did our own bouquets and flower pins for the groomsmen the day before with a lot of help from friends and family.”
“The vows I made to Sonny were:
‘I vow to support you through your decisions in life.
I vow to create presence and peace in my life in order to be the best partner for you.
I vow to make space for our love to grow, so our connection will bring with it positivity beyond the two of us.
Sonny’s vows to me:
To be true to my actions as well as my words, and honour my love and respect for you.
To always be bold and courageous, and never idle.
To nurture and support your dreams, ambitions and desires, regardless of where the road ahead may take us.'”
“We had two readings, both picking one each. One was delivered by Sonny’s sister, Jesse, who was one of my bridesmaids. Sonny chose this reading, which is by Julio Cortazar and called “To Be Read In the Interrogative Mood”.
The other reading was by my mum Michelle Thornton. My mum wrote ‘Chapters’ and didn’t allow me to see it prior to her reading. We were all amazed at just how perfect this was. There were a few tears at this stage! She is a real talent.”
Chapters, By Michelle Thornton (the bride’s mum)
Chapter chasing chapter
The pages of time turn
You were once a part of me
I held your little body close
I caught you and taught you
I kissed your curls
I watched you laughing
I watched you as you danced
Along life’s twisting path
I’ve held you up
I’ve pushed you on
I’ve wiped life’s tears away from your face
Which now is turned to his.
Here you stand
Holding his hand
That curls around your fingers
As mine once did
His face looks into yours
With eyes of love
Like mine
His page has turned
And here you are
All his
Your finger fold his ring of dreams
Now he will hold you up
And he will push you on
As the rhythm of your hearts
Beat in time
You dance together
Your page has turned
Your chapter starts
He will dance with you
Till the end of time.”
“Our rings were bought from Portobello Markets. There are so many Jewellers selling unique pieces and we both found rings that were ideal for us.”
“I opted to do my make up myself as I used to work on a make up counter many years ago. I used the wedding as an excuse to learn new skills. I had a 1-1 with a Bobbi Brown makeup artist who showed me how to do my make up on the day, I then bought lots of new products to practice with which I thoroughly enjoyed.”
“The consultation was incredibly helpful and the lady was extremely generous with her knowledge and support.”
“Sonny and I met through mutual friends, we were instantly intrigued by one another after our initial introduction at Ridley Road Market Bar in 2013. Sonny and I both wanted to propose on a trip he had booked to Vienna in 2016.”
“I didn’t think he was going to get around to asking me and I therefore wanted to pop the question on this trip.”
“My mum convinced me to hold off and give him time, I did, and he asked me to marry him on a ferris wheel overlooking Vienna. We then wandered the streets and heard beautiful music playing in an old roman church and as we walked in, there was a rehearsal with over 40 instrumentalists playing in an orchestra. It was a real pinch me moment.”
“Due to the lead up to our wedding being over 3 years we’d had many conversations about what this day truly represented for us. These conversations and staying true to ourselves are what fuelled all our decisions for the day.”
“We were keen to create a day that was focussed on our friends and families coming together and making it as personal and authentic as possible. We decided to have all our siblings as groomsmen and bridesmaids and having their input throughout was so special.”
“The dress I wore was by the designer Marylise and the dress was part of the 2019 collection. The dress was called ‘Love’. In the evening I wore a jumpsuit by Zimmermann, which had Scallop edges and was white crepe and had a halterneck for the evening which tied in beautifully with my dress.”
“After visiting eight bridal shops by the time I arrived at Angelica Bridal in Angel, (London) I was really keen to get ‘the’ dress and it helped that when I walked in myself and close friends were greeted by two lovely ladies who were very helpful and really listened to what I wanted.”
“There were so many dresses I really liked and due to my numerous visits elsewhere I knew exactly what I was/wasn’t looking for which was very helpful for them to hear.”
“My experience finding my evening outfit was also incredibly pleasant. The women at Zimmermann were so warm and welcoming and I highly recommend visiting them, the collections are always inspiring and offer elegant looks that stand out.”
“I used to be a bridal model so I have tried on numerous dresses over the years which made finding ‘the one’ incredibly difficult as I was a little overwhelmed by the choice I knew were out there for me to try on. When I tried on my wedding dress I wasn’t expecting to love it in all honesty.”
“But when I felt the crepe fabric on my skin saw the way it shaped my body I knew it was right for me. It was the feeling the dress gave me that helped me to make up my mind more than anything. I felt sexy, confident and comfortable and I knew then this dress was perfect for me.”
“I wore a veil that was white, it was a medium length, I then got this hemmed with a white rim to tie in with the band around my dress. This was at a local tailor.”
“Sonny bought me a gift a few days before the wedding which was my pearly white bag which was a great addition to my accessories and matched perfectly with my pearly earrings and necklace.”
I’m not entirely sure if it is, but this looks like a Shrimps bag to me. Pricey, but a friend of mine gets hers on EBay!
“On the day my now sister in laws bought me the most beautiful perfume called L’ombre Dans L’eau – Diptyque from Liberty. The smell is fresh and floral and tied in perfectly with our wild flowers.”
“My mum bought the bridesmaids a perfume each from Penhaligons which was called ‘Elisabethan Rose’ which was strangely very reflective of my name (Elizabeth Rose).”
“It was important to me we all had a scent that could take us back to the day. I now wear my wedding perfume when Sonny and I go on dates and it takes us right back to the day. It’s something a good friend recommended I do and I am so glad we all have our wedding day scents.”
“We created a large collage of images of all our guests and ourselves through the years which surrounded the table plans. This was all placed inside a large framed picture. Sonny wrote all the place settings out in cryllic pen, this was hours of work but came out beautifully.”
“Wolf X Lamb was our catering company and we could not recommend them highly enough. They worked within our budget and the food was something our guests spoke so highly of, and still do in all honesty. The food was set up so every 6 people on the long tables had a selection of dishes and they helped themselves which created a really relaxed vibe.”
“The menus were personalised and the place settings, table chairs, linen etc was all supplied through a company they worked closely with. I was very particular about the place settings and the way everything looked and I am so happy with the way it turned out.”
“Wedding favours were a box of luxurious chocolates made by Continuum Conceits. Alexandra who makes these chocolates by hand took so much care in creating this she even personalised the drawing on the outside of the boxes making it a unique and enriched gift for us and our guests.”
“Our cake was made by Hummingbird Bakery, Sonny’s mum made the butter icing and decorated it with our wild flowers. It was incredibly delicious! Not a crumb went to waste.”
“It is so hard to pick one moment, I would say walking into the room and seeing all my friends and family for the first time who had all travelled from all ends of the world to be with us was definitely a highlight. The love I felt walking into the room was like nothing I’d experienced before.”
“Hearing my mum’s poem for the first time and having my sister singing me down the aisle is something I will never forget. Also our friends Euan and Nicola surprised us with a Mr and Mrs game after dinner which was hilarious and was a real highlight too.”
“For Sonny his highlight was spending time with his family from Indonesia, LA and Australia it was a rare moment to have them all together for one day.”
“Sonny and I picked ‘I Only Have Eyes For You’, by The Flamingos, as our first dance. The track really speaks for itself and was a great selection for us to have a gentle sway to.”
We did a dance later in the night to ‘I have nothing’ Whitney Houston’s that we really let loose to, such a fun evening of dance. I couldn’t walk properly for two weeks after the wedding as I danced so hard!”
“Fraser & The Alibis played at our wedding, they played a set which was an upbeat jazz set, it was an ideal transition into the evening.”
“Our good friend Shantan DJ’d in the evening and he had everyone dancing all night, including my dad which is monumental. I honestly cannot think of anyone who would have been able to do a better job.”
“We are incredibly blessed to have friends and family who are professional photographers and offered to take photographs for us during the day. Due to their immense talents we ended up with pictures we are forever grateful for.”
Words of Wedded Wisdom
“I would say take time to be with your newly wed throughout the day, just take a sneaky moment here and there to check in with each other. The day goes by so fast and can be overwhelming so it’s important to take a moment to have time just the two of you to soak it all in.”
“Don’t sweat the small stuff, if something doesn’t go as planned there is nothing you can do just count your blessings and move on.”
“A lot of our guests didn’t turn up for the London bus journey, which was a real shame – so I would advise asking people if they could confirm their seat if you do decide to do a similar thing. We all had a great time on the bus nonetheless and the process with the company Red RouteMaster was very easy and would recommend them.”
“I would have slept away from Sonny the night before. Just to add a little distance before the big day, maybe I would have taken a sleeping pill too as I think I only slept an hour or two. Everything was imperfectly perfect and I wouldn’t have changed anything.”
What a super gorgeous fun-filled day,
Annabel x
Credits & Thanks
- Photographer - Miranda Stokkel + Trevor King
- Venue - The Old Boat House in Clapton, London.
- Marylise via Angelica Bridal in Angel
- Evening outfit - Zimmermann
- Accessories - Erth Jewelry
- Perfume - L’ombre Dans L’eau by Diptyque, from Liberty
- Groom - Ralph Lauren jacket, waistcoat + tie, APC white shirt, Grenson Antelopess
- Bridesmaids - chose their own + hair accessories from & Other Stories
- Flowergirl dresses - John Lewis + That’s Not Fair, Dalston
- Pageboy outfits - Zara
- Flowers - DIY via New Covent Garden Market , with inspo/advice provided by Loren Elstein (production designer) + Ellen Antico
- Cake - Hummingbird Bakery
- Entertainment - Fraser & The Alibis
- Rings - Portobello Markets
- Catering - Wolf X Lamb
- Stationery - DIY
- Hair + Makeup - Shine On The Green in Stoke Newington