Nat Raybould, Humanist Celebrant, On The Supreme Comfort of Celebrant Wedding Ceremonies

When Annabel asked me to write a piece for Love My Dress, I sat down with a huge mug of tea and took some time to think about what celebrancy means to me, and what celebrancy might also mean to Love My Dress readers.

It’s all too easy to say “Your Day Your Way!” or “Throw tradition out of the window!” – and it’s not wrong to say it! – but actually, in these darker, cosier days in January, wrapped in my felted housecoat-slash-blanket hybrid, it occurs to me that celebrancy means comfort.

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When you choose to create a wedding ceremony with a celebrant, it is bespoke – in the same way as choosing a tailor or seamstress for your wedding outfit, or working with a jeweller for a unique wedding band. Every thought, every sentence is crafted to reflect your relationship, your shared priorities, values, and passions.

There is a huge comfort in not only knowing and adoring what exactly you will hear and say in your wedding ceremony, but also in working closely with your celebrant over a number of months. It’s a bonding relationship of trust, honesty, and joy, and this trust translates effortlessly into a true comfort during the ceremony itself.

The tropes of wedding ceremonies often centre around nerves: the jitters before an aisle entrance, a groom shifting his weight from foot to foot before the ceremony begins.

Although of course a ceremony is weighty and important, that doesn’t mean that it has to feel nerve-wracking, and the last thing I want my couples to feel is even one hint of discomfort during their ceremony.

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Marrying your forever love should be an enjoyable thing! I often say to my couples that their ceremony should feel like a huge hug.

That hug-feel is created in many ways: by the ceremony being led by your trusted celebrant; by including thoughtful contributions from friends or family; by my words, which are carefully chosen to provide meaning and intention but also whimsy and delight; but ultimately, comfort is created by centring each individual couple in such a way that they feel supported and uplifted in their wedding ceremony, rather than ‘on display’.

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There will be a myriad of subtle considerations during the ceremony writing process to journey towards feeling truly comfortable during a wedding ceremony.

It takes time to find the correct way forward for each individual couple, but that time is so, so well spent. Because when you are comfortable in your ceremony, and actively enjoying the moment when you marry, you will remember it all the more vividly. And memory is where it’s at, right?

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Simply put, choosing a celebrant to write and lead your wedding ceremony means prioritising comfort on your wedding day. It’s beginning your new chapter with a hug; it’s a metaphorical housecoat-slash-blanket hybrid.

It’s feeling real, authentic, in the moment. I’m toasting you with my mug of tea right now, just thinking about it. Cheers.